• Issue of
  • Nov 22-28, 2007
  • Vol. 24, No. 28

News

  • Lake Effect | The Christmas War
  • Lake Effect | The Christmas War

    Secular humanists hate Christmas a lot; If you celebrate Christmas, you’re sure to get shot. Don’t hang decorations and don’t deck the halls. The secular humanists will cut off your balls! The atheists hate Baby Jesus; the gays Refuse...
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  • Private Eye | Utah 62, BYU 3

    Whenever I go out of town and miss a week of writing this tree-killing space filler, it’s always difficult to figure out what to write about upon my return home. Last week, I was in Monterey, Calif., at the annual Stanford Publishing on the Web...
  • Cheap Shot | Selling Out Is a Gift
  • Cheap Shot | Selling Out Is a Gift

    Drinking a Chimay Red at the Bayou, I said to Bryan, “If I mention too many advertisers in City Weekly’s gift guide, will it look like I’ve sold out?” “Then write about the Bayou’s Beervana selection,” he said....
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  • The Way It Is | The Tavernacle’s Susy Hadley
  • The Way It Is | The Tavernacle’s Susy Hadley

    With all the recent recalls of Chinese toys with lead paint, City Weekly asked Tavernacle social club manager Susy Hadley if she thought people would be buying fewer toys this holiday season. I don’t think they’ll be buying fewer toys; they’ll...
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  • Staffbox | A Utah win or a BYU loss?

    What would you be more thankful for this weekend—a Utah football win over BYU, or a BYU football loss to Utah? Derek Jones: I choose the Utah football win over the BYU football loss. It just sounds more positive, which I’m all about, even...
  • 5 Spot | South Towne Mall marketing manager Natalie M. Watson
  • 5 Spot | South Towne Mall marketing manager Natalie M. Watson

    Natalie M. Watson, marketing manager for South Towne Mall (10450 S. State in Sandy), is donning pajamas for the mall’s first Black Friday midnight opening on Nov. 23. Why the foreboding name: Black Friday? It’s known as the major holiday...
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  • Mullen | Random Acts: The unorganized charity concept

    My friend was sitting in her car the other day, waiting in a morning rush-hour line at a drive-up coffee shack. The wait for quick caffeine seemed interminable. Three cars later, and edging toward being inexcusably late to an important meeting, she finally...
  • Newsquirks | When Guns Are Outlawed

    Curses, Foiled Again Vincent Carl Schettner, 63, became the prime suspect in the theft of thousands of dollars from parking meters in St. Paul, Minn., because he made frequent large deposits to his personal bank account, always in quarters and dollar...
  • The Straight Dope | Grassy Gas
  • The Straight Dope | Grassy Gas

    Since you’re on an energy kick these days, I thought I would ask you: how viable is cellulosic ethanol? —Rob Dennett, via e-mail Hang on, Rob—let’s back up a bit, just to make sure everyone’s on board. Until very recently,...
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  • Free Will Astrology | Nov. 22-28
  • Free Will Astrology | Nov. 22-28

    ARIES (March 21-April 19) When life gets weird, should you take refuge in decorum and tradition? Should you intensify your commitment to the humdrum? Is it wise to dress more conservatively, act more dignified, and smile more automatically? I say no....
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  • Ask a Mexican | Boobs & Sentras

    Dear Mexican: What’s the deal with Spanish-language car dealership commercials that feature bikini-clad porn star-wannabes copulating with used cars? I just saw one where three girls were rubbing melted chocolate on each other. Surely, no one in...

Restaurants & Bars

  • Grand reopenings & Utah AIDS benefit

    Last week marked the grand re-opening of Hapa Grill, Ichiban Sushi and Mikado Cottonwood, according to the Watkins Restaurant Group. Didn’t know those restaurants were closed? Me, neither. Owner Christopher Watkins says via his press contact, “We...
  • Grapevine | Groovin’ on Garnacha

    I’ve been groovin’ on Spanish Garnacha for the past week or so. That’s the same grape called Grenache in France, and Garnatxa in Catalan. However, only recently has Garnacha (gar-NA-chah) started to become nearly as respectable as its...

Music

  • CD Revue | Bradford & Gadette on I’m Not There
  • CD Revue | Bradford & Gadette on I’m Not There

    This week, Ryan Bradford and Jamie Gadette take on I’m Not There (Columbia/Sony), the soundtrack to Todd Haynes’ forthcoming Bob Dylan biopic (see Cinema Clips). The double-disc release features 34 artists covering both popular and more obscure...
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  • Music | Khaaan!: Blacksnake and BBQ get saucy
  • Music | Khaaan!: Blacksnake and BBQ get saucy

    I should have guessed that two guys who call themselves Blacksnake and Creepy were going to mess with me a little bit. But some journalists never learn. That’s why reporters have the same public approval rating as used car salesmen. Blacksnake (aka...
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Culture

Guides

  • 2007 Gift Guide: Holly Jolly Central
  • 2007 Gift Guide: Holly Jolly Central

    It’s November 22. Do you know where your perfect gift is? Why, oh why, you might be asking, do we put ourselves through this torment every year? The crowds, the lines, the expense … all to hand off a cheerfully wrapped box with the ideal...

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