Private Eye | Salt Lake City Weekly

Stockton's Big Turnover

Hey, if you were so lucky to find yourself being paid to write a newspaper column from Greece, you'd do it too, right?

Ask Burgess

Last week, I asked readers to submit any questions they had for U.S. Rep. Burgess Owens, so we can print them for him. The reason, ostensibly, is because Owens hasn't been forthcoming when it comes to issues that Utahns want to know.

Ask Burgess

No one I know has ever seen him in downtown, and yet, he's my rep. He will be on the government dole long after he denies Utahns the similar privilege of having any social dividends provided by Dyadya Sem, I mean, Uncle Sam.

On Your Mark

I grew up in in Bingham Canyon, one of the manliest of man places around.
It really was. Nearly all of the men worked hard at dangerous jobs in the Kennecott copper mine.

Us vs Us

One of the damning nuances of print publications is that in this era of fast-release news on the internet and over social media, by the time someone reads what is written, it will be, as they say, yesterday's news.

Sliced and Diced

I've never been one to exalt when good things happen. It's been many years since even my youngest child was born, so I barely remember the celebration after each arrived.

History Fail

Painkillers and opioid drugs
Over the past couple of weeks, I've written about the cervical-disk fusion surgery I've recently undergone and naturally used the space to segue into the mysterious world of painkillers and opioid drugs.

Fool Me Twice

My newly educated self reads directions much better than my old self, so those meds are heading to a take-back disposal center. Sorry, illicit opioid supply chain.

Pill Popping

Other times I have to read something over and over to get even the most basic salient points—like wondering recently, "Gary Herbert. Gary Herbert. Hmmm. Why does that name ring a bell?"

Herd Mentality

Not that long ago, half the people in Utah balked at taking any precautions against COVID-19. They didn't like masks. They wanted their "freedoms."

My Girded Loins

There are many things special about being a native Utahn. We were not only born here, but we stay here despite all the reasons a good number of other Utahns give us to leave.

Freedom of Choice

A week ago, I got a call from a friend who works at our local pharmacy. They had a half-dozen doses of COVID-19 vaccine that, if not used by 6 p.m. that evening, would be tossed away due to expiration mandates.

Humans vs. Lee

It's too bad we've forgotten about Brown. Years after his Senate term, he was shot by his mistress and died four days later of his wounds. Why can't we have Utah senators like that anymore? I'd trade Brown right now for 10 Mike Lees.

Mulligan Mike

Everyone hates a bad movie analogy, so I'll just go ahead and play with one anyway.

Don't Wilt, Mitt

I can barely imagine what it would be like to have lived Mitt Romney's life. As son of the former governor of Michigan, George Romney, his childhood was far different than mine.

Good Luck, Kera

I was minding my own business when what looked to be an entire basketball team came in for some food goodies.


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