Girl Talk at Pioneer Park | The Ocho | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

Girl Talk at Pioneer Park 

Eight reasons the next Twilight Concert should be more manageable than the opener.

Pin It
Favorite
click to enlarge art11681widea.jpg

Eight reasons the July 15 Twilight Concert at Pioneer Park should be more manageable than the overcrowded opener with Modest Mouse:

8. Headliner Girl Talk isn’t even a real band, just some hipster with laptop. If a crush and/or deaths occur over that, it’s natural selection.

7. The chain-link fences will be electrified—by green power, as per Mayor Ralph Becker.

6. Headliner Girl Talk is only three steps above a wedding DJ. Utah weddings typically have better crowd control than concerts.

5. Police will be enforcing a no-fixed-gear-bikes policy for eight square blocks.

4. Headliner Girl Talk involves no actual musicians. Has that been mentioned?

3. Ted Dancin’ also plays Thursday night, at The Urban Lounge. Same show.

2. Beer will be sold out of Porta-Pottys, eliminating lines.

1. Headliner Girl Talk is getting paid thousands in tax dollars to play other people’s songs. This will bring out all 18 members of the SLC Tea Party.

Bill Frost:

Pin It
Favorite

Speaking of The Ocho

  • Get a Job!

    8 red-flag phrases in local Craigslist job listings
    • May 7, 2014
  • Drinko de Mayo

    8 gringo drink specials to avoid on Cinco de Mayo
    • Apr 30, 2014
  • Utah ... Man?

    8 proposed "inclusive" lyric changes to the University of Utah's fight song
    • Apr 9, 2014
  • More »

More by Bill Frost

  • What a Drag

    RuPaul's Drag Race returns to make America great again; Harlots hooks historically.
    • Mar 22, 2017
  • Thumb This

    Eight review systems considered to replace Netflix’s 5-star ratings besides Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down.
    • Mar 22, 2017
  • Ham Fist

    Marvel's Iron Fist packs little punch; Into the Badlands delivers the kung-fu action.
    • Mar 15, 2017
  • More »

Latest in The Ocho

  • Thumb This

    Eight review systems considered to replace Netflix’s 5-star ratings besides Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down.
    • Mar 22, 2017
  • Statewide Kilting Spree

    Eight pros and cons of St. Patrick’s Day in Utah.
    • Mar 15, 2017
  • Celestial Suburbs

    Eight Utah-sourced names for the seven planets of NASA’s recently discovered solar system:
    • Mar 8, 2017
  • More »

Comments (18)

Showing 1-18 of 18

Add a comment

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-18 of 18

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

  • WhiskeyPete Was Here

    8 other suspected "secret" online pseudonyms used by Mayor Ralph Becker's spokesman besides "WhiskeyPete" on The Salt Lake Tribune's website
    • Aug 5, 2015
  • Ocho, Out

    8 reasons The Ocho has been canceled
    • Nov 4, 2015

© 2017 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation