Thanks for Nothin' | The Ocho | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

Thanks for Nothin' 

Eight things you just don't want to hear from family this Thanksgiving.

Pin It
Favorite
click to enlarge news_ocho1-1.jpg

8. “Mommy has to go work her shift at Trails. Are my turkey pasties on straight?”
7. “Hurry up and finish eating— we need to go set up camp outside Walmart.”
6. “The wine store was closed. How about a Bud Light Lime Cran-Brrr-Rita?”
5. “Finally, a holiday without a mass shooting … oh, wait, never mind.”
4. “Gather ’round the radio, kids! It’s almost time for The Best of InfoWars!”
3. “Grandma isn’t breathing. Did anybody bring a garment bag?”
2. “Please respect Bry’lee and Bastion’s food allergies and enjoy the soy broth.”
1. “We checked 23andMe again this year: We’re still white!”

Pin It
Favorite

Tags:

More by Bill Frost

  • Get Happy!

    Happy! brings the weirdness to Syfy; Fuller House further erodes 'Merica.
    • Nov 29, 2017
  • Available Jones

    Eight great achievements by Utah Gov. Gary Herbert during eight years in office.
    • Nov 29, 2017
  • Rated Xmas

    Screw Thanksgiving—bring on the Christmas TV!
    • Nov 22, 2017
  • More »

Latest in The Ocho

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

  • Suck It, 2016

    Eight tired phrases to leave behind in 2016 (and their 2017 replacements):
    • Dec 28, 2016
  • The Porn Identity

    Eight adult films that triggered Utah Sen. Todd Weiler to sue for damages:
    • Jan 11, 2017

© 2018 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation