Unconventional Weaponry 

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Unconventional Weaponry
The Laconia (New Hampshire) Daily Sun reported on Jan. 5 that police were called to the Market Basket supermarket in Tilton the day before after a "fruity fracas" broke out in the produce section. Social media posts indicated that a watermelon had been used in an assault, and Sgt. Andrew Salmon of the Tilton Police Department confirmed that his department is investigating. Salmon said one person went to the hospital with non-life-threatening injuries "from being struck by a produce item." A worker who answered the phone at the Market Basket said, "We have been instructed not to say anything."

Awesome!
• King, a rescue dog at the Lost Our Home Pet Rescue in Tempe, Arizona, enjoyed a brief reign among his shelter buddies, Fox10-TV reported on Jan. 11. Sometime around midnight, King managed to break out of his kennel at the shelter and busted out several other dogs. He also found a stash of food and enjoyed a little feast. In the meantime, alarms were triggered; Jodi Polanski, the shelter's founder, looked at video from the scene and saw the mess. "The police actually came because he set the alarm off," Polanski said. The unnamed responding officer cleaned up after King's free-for-all and got the dog settled back in bed. "I was just like, wow, amazing man that he did that," Polanski said. The rescue's website indicates that King is no longer looking for a home.

• Rodney Holbrook, a 75-year-old retired postman from Wales, had been noticing for a couple of months that small messes in his shed were being mysteriously tidied overnight, the BBC reported. So he set up a camera and caught a little mouse picking up pegs, corks, nuts, bolts and bird food. Holbrook aptly named the rodent Welsh Tidy Mouse. "Ninety-nine times out of a hundred the mouse will tidy up throughout the night," Holbrook said. "I don't bother to tidy up now, I leave things out of the box and they put it back in its place by morning. I've added different things to the desk to see if they can lift it," he said.

Goals
LuLu Lotus of Mississauga, Ontario, has earned a Guinness World Record for an impressive, if dubious, skill: She blew a 44.1-decibel whistle through her nose. United Press International reported on Jan. 9 that Lotus visited Aercoustics Engineering Ltd. to have her whistle measured in a special room. She said her 5-year-old son has recently discovered he, too, has a nose-whistling ability: "It would be a dream come true if he beat my record one day," Lotus said.

High Tech
The story about the Alaska Airlines plane that lost a panel while flying at 16,000 feet is all over the news. But it's the little human-interest stories that really capture us: When the panel flew off and the hole gaped open midair on Jan. 5, someone's iPhone got sucked out and landed on a roadside in Washington state, Yahoo! News reported. Sean Bates, who found the phone, posted a photo on X showing the phone's intact screen and a battery life of 44% remaining: "Pretty clean, no scratches on it, sitting under a bush," he posted. Jennifer Homendy of the NTSB said all found phones would be returned to their owners.

Inauspicious Award
Kathleen Murray of Sandford, Tasmania, credits bandicoots for helping her win the first-ever World's Ugliest Lawn competition, The Guardian reported on Jan. 11. The marsupials, Murray said, have "actually liberated me from ever having to mow it again. I'm all for guilt-free weekends, especially since my ex-husband left with the lawnmower back in 2016." (That must have been a good-looking Toro!) The contest began as Gotland's (Sweden) Ugliest Lawn, which was conceived to encourage water-saving and environmentally friendly gardening in 2022. "All of (the lawns) were hideous and well worthy of winning, but the winning entry was really, really bad," said Gotland's Mimmi Gibson. "It brings me a lot of joy to see all the little creatures who now feel safe to come out during the day in my yard," Murray said.

What's in a Name?
Wayne State University in Michigan has announced its 15th annual list of 10 "long-lost" words that should be resurrected, United Press International reported on Jan. 10. The Word Warriors program has identified "blatherskite" (nonsense), "curglaff" (the shock felt upon diving into cold water), "rawgabbit" (a person who speaks confidently but ignorantly), and "pawky" (having a cynical sense of humor), among others. Let's get together and twankle during our kaffeeklatsch!

But Why?
On Jan. 8, as an Air Canada flight prepared to leave Toronto for Dubai, a passenger opened a cabin door and stepped out, falling about 20 feet to the ground. CTV News reported. The passenger was injured, and emergency services were called, the airline said. The flight was delayed but eventually took off. There was no explanation for why the person jumped out.

Crime Report
A 32-year-old woman who had been arrested for assault in Boone, North Carolina, took her aggression out on the backseat of a police car on Jan. 2, The Charlotte Observer reported. Boone Police Sgt. Dennis O'Neal said that a "substantial amount of padding" had been chewed away, adding up to $650 in damages. The department's Facebook post suggested they "may need to invest in Kevlar seat covers." Authorities were still deciding whether to charge her in connection with the car's damages.

That's One Way To Do It
The Bean Monger, a coffee shop in Indianapolis, Indiana, was the site of a "pop-up" marriage on Dec. 31—with no prior notice that the happy couple and their guests were planning to converge, the New York Post reported. Twenty to 30 people, including an officiant, photographer and guests, crowded into the small store, where they treated the unsuspecting workers as if they were hired staff. "They were asking us to take coats, purses and watch personal items as if they had rented us out," one person said. The wedding party blocked the entrance to other patrons, and when a barista asked them to move, the photographer replied, "No, wait at least five minutes." The store typically charges $500 for private events, which they have requested from the bride, but she deemed the amount "unreasonable."

Not Likely
— Roderick Jackson of Waskom, Texas, is suing Walmart for $100 million—or "unlimited free lifetime shopping" at any location—in relation to a vague incident from an Omaha Walmart in March 2021. NBC News reported that Jackson alleges there was a "false pretense of shoplifting" that was a violation of his civil rights "based on race/color." Walmart responded that the suit is "almost identical to a lawsuit he filed against our company in 2021 that was dismissed." The earlier suit said he suffered emotional stress and pain from the handcuffs.

• Joao Pimenta da Silva, 71, of Minas Gerais, Brazil, repeatedly dreamed that gold lay deep under his home, the New York Post reported. To that end, over a year ago, he began digging a hole in his kitchen floor that ended up being 130 feet deep and about 35 inches in diameter. But on Jan. 4, Pimenta's dreams died when he lost his balance and plunged to his death at the bottom of the cavity. His neighbor Arnaldo da Silva tried to discourage the project, but Pimenta was convinced his dream would come true. In the fall, he suffered head injuries and broken bones.

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