Boom! 

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Boom!
Police in Rose, Idaho, revealed on April 10 the names of the victim and suspect in a home invasion that took place in March, EastIdahoNews.com reported. Officials said that around 2 a.m., 85-year-old Christine Jenneiahn was sleeping in her home when she awoke to a man shining a flashlight and pointing a gun at her. Derek Ephriam Condon, 39, allegedly then handcuffed Jenneiahn and moved her to the living room, where he cuffed her to a chair and asked her where the valuables were. She told him there were two safes, and he left to investigate. While he was out of the room, Jenneiahn dragged herself and the chair into her bedroom and got her .357 Magnum revolver, which she hid on a nearby couch after returning to the living room. Ultimately, she made a "now or never" decision and drew the gun, fatally striking Condon with two shots. He returned fire, hitting her multiple times, but Jenneiahn survived and has already left the hospital. The case, said Bingham County Prosecutor Ryan Jolley, "presents one of the most heroic acts of self-preservation I have ever heard of." Officials said the two knew each other and it was not a random incident.

Rectum? Killed 'im
A 24-year-old man, Yogesh R, in Bengaluru, India, died on March 25 of massive intestinal damage after a friend, Murali, 23, playfully inflated his rectum with a powerful car wash blow-dryer. The friend, an employee at a motorbike service center, had finished washing and drying the vehicle of the victim when horseplay ensued, the Times of India reported. The dryer's wand was not close to Yogesh, but the pressure was such that the victim collapsed and was rushed to the hospital, where doctors were unable to repair his exploded colon. Murali was arrested for culpable homicide.

Animal Antics
• In the wee hours of April 10 at a train station in Sydney, Australia, an unexpected commuter showed up, United Press International reported. A horse, wearing a blanket, appeared on the Warwick Farm station platform during heavy storms and tried to board the train. The escapade was captured on security camera video. The horse trotted up and down the platform and chased another rider before its owner was summoned to collect it. Transport for New South Wales declared that the would-be rider was "only horsing around" and was returned to his residence.

• On April 8 in Kansas City, Missouri, police were summoned after someone saw a mountain goat standing on a ledge under a highway overpass bridge, United Press International reported. Authorities tried using a rope to rescue the goat, who ended up hanging from the rope for a short while. Finally a veterinarian on the ground sedated the animal and it was taken to a local animal shelter to recover. Apparently, the goat had recently been adopted by a nearby resident and had escaped its enclosure.

Precocious
At the Country Oaks Elementary School in Hendry County, Florida, two 10-year-old boys were trading more than Lunchables on March 27. ClickOrlando reported that one of the boys had agreed in February to sell a handgun belonging to his father, who had recently died, to another for $300. The gun was located under a shed in the boy's backyard, along with a baggie containing 74 grams of marijuana. Both boys were arrested—one for selling a firearm to a minor, the other for purchasing a firearm as a minor. The seller's mom is a sheriff's deputy; she was put on administrative leave while the investigation continues.

Holier Than Thou
Peter Owens, 35, of Ellenton, Florida, went to a Walgreens store in Clearwater on Easter Sunday to buy some headphones, The Smoking Gun reported. While there, he got into an argument with an employee of the store and the manager, 36-year-old Nicole Merck, tried to intervene, asking Owens to leave the store. That was when Owens, according to police, struck Merck in the face with his Bible. Authorities tracked him down and he admitted striking her "because she was being rude to him." The charge was bumped up to a felony because of Owens' 2020 conviction in Michigan for assault and battery. WWJD?

Overserved
• Anna Louise Keller, 49, of Seminole, Florida, was shocked—SHOCKED!—on April 8 when Pinellas County Sheriff's deputies stopped her because she was driving recklessly and, critically, missing her right front tire. Fox13-TV reported that officers smelled alcohol, and Keller admitted that she had been drinking and was unaware of the missing tire. She tested over the legal limit, and deputies found four empty Busch Light containers in the car. She was charged with DUI.

• When police came across Wyly James Weeks, 35, on April 5 in St. Petersburg, Florida, he was sitting in a trash can, on a sidewalk, and completely naked. The Smoking Gun reported that Weeks told cops he "was allowed to be drunk and disorderly and sit naked in a trash can on the public sidewalk." Indeed, they found him to be unsteady on his feet and smelling of liquor. He also told them he didn't have to provide his "name or demographics." He pleaded guilty to disorderly intoxication and resisting an officer without violence and was fined $520.

Total Eclipse of My Parts
In what is apparently a regular prank in Mexico, someone submitted an adults-only video clip of their view of the eclipse on April 8 to an RCG Media news program, the New York Post reported. But this particular clip was of a man blocking out the sun with his testicles. While the male anchor read on from a list of locations where people could watch the celestial phenomenon, one of the two female anchors gasped as the crude image flashed on the screen. The male anchor then apologized; an X user with the name Rhevolver took gleeful responsibility for the joke.

Bright Idea
At the home of Omar Gabriel Munoz in Sacramento County, California, on March 29, a package was delivered, Fox News reported. But when Munoz got home, it wasn't there. When he checked his doorbell video, he found out why—and he had to give credit to the porch pirate, who he said showed "a lot of creativity." The thief shuffled up to Munoz's front door dressed as a bag of trash, with only their feet showing, stood over the box and picked it up, then shuffled away. Munoz said the box contained only two iPhone chargers; he didn't report the theft to the police because "they have more important things to do." "At first I was kinda angry but when I saw the video again, I was laughing," Munoz said.

Oops!
The U.S. Navy is the subject of much ridicule after it released a photo online depicting Commander Cameron Yaste, the captain of the USS John S. McCain, shooting a rifle—with the scope mounted backwards and the lens cap still on. The Telegraph reported that the image also accompanied an official press release and was captioned, "From engaging in practice gun shoots, conducting maintenance, testing fuel purity and participating in sea and anchor details, the #USNavy is always ready to serve and protect." One commenter on X noted despondently, "We're going to lose a major war."

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