Salt Lake City plans Drag Queen Olympics 

We can't start planning soon enough now that Salt Lake City has secured the 2034 Olympic Winter Games. As old timers know, when the 2002 Games came to town it was simply amazing.

The events, of course, are spectacular. But when a city hosts the Games, excitement and fun are off the charts as visitors pour in from around the globe. Salt Lake City has always been a welcoming place. We love immigrants and gays and investment bankers.

A special committee is now working to ensure that drag queens not only feel accepted at our Games but will take a prominent role in the festivities. The celebration will make the so-called “Drag Queen Last Supper” at the Paris Olympics look like “Ring Around the Rosie.”

Many newcomers may not realize that drag queens played an important role in Utah's history. Brigham Morris Young, one of Brigham Young's sons, was a famous drag performer who was widely known as Madam Pattirini. In the late 1800s, drag shows were quite popular and Olympic organizers will focus on the cultural aspects of Utah's history and weave together such things as drag queens and polygamy.

Imagine an Opening Ceremony where 26 bearded men on ice skates dressed as Brigham Young's wives welcome the entire world on satellite TV. It just takes your breath away.

Like Your Black Job?
What is a Black job? The term conjures up all sorts of things, like janitor, maid, dishwasher—but doctor, lawyer, engineer, not so much. Olympic gold medalist Simone Biles was all over it: “I love my Black job,” she said, trolling Donald Trump, who told the National Association of Black Journalists that undocumented immigrants are stealing “Black jobs” and it's all the fault of Kamala Harris.

Black jobs? You're right Wilson, it recalls Jim Crow and segregation—nasty stuff. Willy Horton, where have you gone—Trump campaign headquarters?

Down in MAGAville, they're talking back to the TV. See there, Irene, there's millions of them illegal Mexicans coming in here and taking all them Black jobs, and then what's all them Black people going to do? Them people are going to want our White jobs.

It is, of course, Trump Theater: chaos, racism, xenophobia with more than a dash of B.S. tossed in for flavor. No surprise, the Orange Man's performance got a lot of headlines and airtime—success! Who said, “There's no such thing as bad publicity”?

Step right up to the big tent, see the famous bearded lady with your own eyes and Kamala Harris the Indian woman who is not Black. Hey MAGA World, it's an us-versus-them world, so don't forget who “us” is.

“They’re Just Weird”—Don and J.D. Get Tattooed
OK Wilson, you and the guys in the band have known your share of weird people. So check this out—everyone is picking up on Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz’s analysis of Donald Trump and J.D. Vance that they're just “weird.” It does have a ring to it.

Since 2015, pundits and politicians have tried to label Trump. Books, news stories and magazines have labored, without success, to come to grips with the inexplicable Orange Man and his comb-over Teflon. Well, Walz did it in just a word—“weird.”

It was one of those “the-emperor-has-no-clothes” moments, when suddenly everything comes into focus. Trump is nasty, dishonest, creepy, self-important and on and on. But nothing sticks to his angry jowls like “weird.” The moniker is so right-on that Trump has repeatedly denied it, insisting that he and Vance “are not weird people.” Right, and Barack Obama was born in Kenya.

In something of a schoolyard comeback the former president, referring to Democrats, sneered,“they are the weird ones.” Vance, Trump's new Mini-Me, put the icing on the cake when he labeled women without kids as “childless cat ladies.” Ooh baby! That's a bell that doesn't un-ring—he alienated women and cat lovers all in one swipe. Team Trump is on a roll—if the weird shoe fits ...

Postscript—That's going to do it for another scorching week in Hot Lake City, where the staff here at Smart Bomb keeps track of Mount Rushmore, so you don't have to. Hey Wilson, remember when Republicans wanted to put Ronald Reagan on Mount Rushmore, as well as on the $5 bill. The Utah congressional delegation just couldn't shut up about it.

Well, maybe it's a good thing that didn't succeed. Today's GOP—aka MAGA Mob—wants Donald Trump on Mount Rushmore and thinks Ronald Reagan was some kind of elitist who hated Russia and favored clean air. Times change. Ronald Who?

South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem is a big proponent of The Donald on Mount Rushmore and even gave 45 a miniature Mount Rushmore with his image next to Washington and Jefferson. But then she wrote about shooting her puppy because ... well, because he was acting like a Democrat. Since then, we haven't heard much about Trump's likeness carved into a mountain, but as someone once said: It ain't over 'till it's over.

If he gets reelected, we may get his picture on all of our currency. And what about a nice monument near the Lincoln Memorial in D.C. A huge Donald Trump carved in stone watching TV and eating a Big Mac. MAGA World would just love it.

It's HOT Wilson and it's going to stay that way. It's so hot you can fry an egg on the hood of your car. It's so hot that people are losing their tans 'cause they can't go outside. Well, of course, you can go out at night. It won't exactly be cool, but it is survivable. So you and the guys in the band know what to do, so hit it, Wilson:

Hot town, summer in the city
Back of my neck getting dirty and gritty
Been down, isn't it a pity?
Doesn't seem to be a shadow in the city
All around, people looking half dead
Walking on the sidewalk, hotter than a match head

And babe, don't you know it's a pity
That the days can't be like the nights
In the summer, in the city
In the summer, in the city
“Summer In the City”—Lovin' Spoonful