Dance preview: Repertory Dance Theatre's I Am... 

• Becca Webb
• Repertory Dance Theatre’s I Am...

As people still wrestle with their raw emotions in the wake of the November elections, it might seem like a challenging time to present a creative work inspired by an awareness of systemic, institutional racism and police violence against Black bodies. And it's true that there is a kind of political message in I Am..., receiving a return engagement this year from Repertory Dance Theatre after its 2023 premiere—but according to choreographer Natosha Washington, that message might not be exactly the one you're expecting.

"In the past, I've very much struggled with creating anything that would be kind of in-your-face, politically-charged," Washington says. "And it's not a fear of me saying the thing; I think I've become pretty good at saying what I feel. But there are some things, when it comes down to your own life experience and you put it out there, you want to say, 'You don't get to comment on this, because this is my experience.' Sometimes we forget the value of simply listening, of taking information in. That's part of why we as a society feel so polarized now: We are not taking the time to stop and listen and hear each other."

The origins of I Am...—and the personal experience that inspired it—date back to 2018, and a shorter work titled Say Their Names that was commissioned by RDT. It was a piece that emerged from a time of more general reckoning surrounding police violence against Black and brown people, but was ultimately shaped by Washington's personal experience with a family member dying in an incident of police violence. Yet it was so close to home, that Washington initially didn't even realize it was weighing on her creative process.

"I went into the theater with RDT, and I was trying to ignore it, [thinking] 'I'm just going to create dance,'" Washington recalls. "And I kept getting stuck. Generally speaking, I don't get stuck; I always know what I'm doing, but I had no idea. The reason I was getting stuck was, without paying attention, I wasn't allowing myself to create what it was that my whole being needed to express."

In the aftermath of Say Their Names, Washington and RDT agreed that an expanded, evening-length interpretation of similar themes was warranted. I Am... premiered last year, including original music by Trevor Price and a narrated component by actor (and longtime friend of Washington's) Dee-Dee Darby-Duffin. As Washington recalls, one point of particular emphasis in creating the longer work was making sure that the transition points allowed viewers to absorb and process what they had experienced.

"I did have to think about the transitional component for audiences and dancers," she says. "I wanted there to be a place for the work to be felt, held and observed. So I'm not a fan of quick transitions."

Since this is the second time in just over a year that the RDT company has performed this piece—with just one individual dancer changing in the cast from 2023—it might seem like a chance to slip into a familiar groove. But Washington believes that everything that has transpired in the lives of the artists involved will inevitably make the work different and unique, even from last year's version.

"What I'm excited about is, having done this a year ago, and having [the dancers] live in it for a year," Washington says. "Those experiences will impact the way these stories will be interpreted. One of the dancers is currently experiencing great loss. When you have this significant impact of life that happens, and it directly impacts your community, we have these people that we need to lean on. And you have to feel okay to lean. I have this belief and this hope that this piece is going to have a really profound shift from last year, and how it's bringing the dancers together."

Of course, one significant shift from last year is that aforementioned election—and while Washington initially notes with surprise that she hadn't really considered how I Am... might be seen in that context, she does realize that it has some resonance. "I think it's going to say some things that validate people's feelings," she says. "I think it will impact people in a way that says, 'We have to be there for each other.' ... It's undeniable, this piece of, 'Oh, this has happened. This continues to happen. How am I going to be part of the change? And even if I don't have the ability to make a change on a large scale, what can I do inside a smaller community?'"