What’s Santa putting in your bag? | Staff Box | Salt Lake City Weekly

What’s Santa putting in your bag? 

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What’s Santa putting in your bag?

Lia Pretorius: Kostizi!

Lindsay Fenton: Nothing. I’m a Jew.

Bryan Bale: Invalid query. An imaginary construct cannot insert an object into a nonexistent container.

Nick Clark: It’d better be more Captain Morgan! Every Xmas Eve, I run out, and I blame the jolly old elf.

Jamie Gadette: A long-overdue vacation.

Leo Dirr: Is biscuits and gravy too much to ask? I’ll settle for a one-legged leprechaun.

Paula Saltas: Whatever it is, it had better have batteries included.

Susan Kruithof: I’m not expecting anything in material form, but I believe my bag will be overflowing with good cheer. A toast to City Weekly, and all the wonderful people who work here.

Melisa Hemond: Credit card bills from this Christmas!

Jesse Fruhwirth: I want Santa to bring me Lies My Teacher Told Me and Lies Across America, by James W. Loewen—preeminent works of debunking in the days before Snopes.com.

Ted Scheffler: I’m hoping to get Jim Harrison’s new book, The Farmer’s Daughter, under my tree from Santa. And, of course, lots of sexy lingerie for the missus, which is really my gift.

Lara Grant: Oh, I care not for material things ... (just hand me the cash).

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