Waste More, Tax More 

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Curses, Foiled Again
Police accused Jeremiah Scales of selling synthetic marijuana from his girlfriend’s house in Bloomington, Ind., after a nearby sign announcing “Drugs This Way” alerted them. “Our detectives did some surveillance, as well as some buys,” police Sgt. Pam Gladish said, noting that comings and goings at all hours stood out in the otherwise quiet neighborhood. (Indianapolis’s WTHR-TV)

• Police reported that when a guest at a motel in Jackson, Miss., told a man asking for cigarettes that he hadn’t any, the man pointed a gun at the guest and said, “I bet you don’t have one of these.” The guest did have one, however, and opened fire on the suspect, hitting him at least once. Police found him being treated at the hospital. (Jackson’s WLBT-TV)

Waste More, Tax More
The federal government spent more than $3 million to buy eight patrol boats for the Afghan police that were never delivered, according to the U.S Special Inspector General for Afghanistan Reconstruction, because U.S. and NATO forces decided they didn’t need them. Four years later, the boats, which cost taxpayers $325,000 more each than similar boats sold in the United States, remain in storage at a Virginia naval base. (The Washington Post)

Poop Scoop
Dennis Kneier resigned as mayor of San Marino, Calif., after surveillance video caught him tossing a bag of dog feces on the walkway of neighbor Philip Lao, a vocal critic of some of the mayor’s proposals. In his letter of resignation, Kneier attributed his action to “a lapse of judgment.” (Los Angeles’s KCBS-TV)

• Police arrested a Seattle woman who tossed cat feces, frozen chicken parts and a green liquid she identified as “a natural drink” from her fifth-floor apartment at participants and spectators for the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. The “hail of garbage” hit at least two people, said investigators, who reported that the unidentified woman told them “she had worked a long shift and was angry that the runners had woken her from her slumber.” (Seattle Police Department)

Mensa Rejects of the Week
Four men driving outside Sulphur, La., found an 11-foot-long alligator blocking the road. They removed their shirts, threw them on the gator’s head and approached from behind, intending to jump on it. Suddenly, according to Glen Bonin, “it spun around and grabbed my hand.” Bonin needed 80 stitches but kept his arm. “I’ve always been the kind of guy who learns the hard way,” he admitted, adding that he hopes “with therapy, I’ll be able to straighten out my ring finger and pinky a little bit.” Officials of the Louisiana Department of Wildlife and Fisheries stressed that anyone coming in contact with an alligator should call the LDWF, not try to handle it themselves. (Lake Charles’s KPLC-TV)

• An unidentified man had to be hospitalized for road rash and fractures after he fell from a pickup truck onto an Interstate highway in Shreveport, La. He told police he was riding on top of a mattress and a box spring to hold them down because they weren’t secured, but they suddenly flew out, taking him with them. Police pointed out that it’s physically impossible for a human being to hold down a mattress if it goes airborne. (Shreveport’s KSLA-TV)

• Rescuers needed a stretcher to carry a tourist who hurt his ankle while climbing one of Scotland’s highest mountains in his flip-flops. One of the injured man’s companions was barefoot; the other was wearing sneakers. After the three men explained they wanted to reach the top of Aonach Mor to experience snow for the first time, John Stevenson, leader of Lochaber Mountain Rescue team, said, “We told them next time they come back to Scotland to stand on snow, they should wear something more appropriate.” (BBC News)

Undercover Stories
Police who arrested Kelly A. Koranda, 36, after a traffic stop in Logansport, Ind., said she had 172 baggies of heroin in her underwear. (Logansport’s The Pharos-Tribune)

• German customs officials caught a man they described as “elderly” arriving from Luxembourg with four wads of cash, totaling 194,400 euros ($264,773), taped to his genitals. Travelers carrying more than 10,000 euros across borders within the European Union are required to declare the money. (Germany’s The Local)

Imaginary Friends
When Marissa Williams, 19, began inviting strangers she befriended on Facebook to her home, her aunt, with whom she lived in Fosters, Ala., objected. Williams blocked her aunt on Facebook, so the aunt created a Facebook profile for a fictitious man named Tre “Topdog” Ellis to be able to friend her niece and see what she was up to. Williams gave Topdog her address and asked him to come over and get drunk with her, and said she’d have sex with him if he paid her $50 cell phone bill. Later, she told Topdog to come kidnap her and kill her aunt if she tried to stop him. She then outlined a more sinister plot to murder her aunt, the aunt’s fiance, her cousin and the family dog. At that point, the aunt called the Tuscaloosa County Sheriff’s Office. Deputies arrested Williams for solicitation of murder. (Alabama Media Group)

• Authorities charged two 12-year-old girls with repeatedly stabbing their 12-year-old friend in Waukesha, Wis., to please a fictional character called Slender Man that they learned about on a horror-story website. According to the criminal complaint, one girl held the victim down while the other stabbed her in the torso, legs and arms 19 times, intending to kill her so they could become Slender Man’s “proxies.” (USA Today)

• Police arrested Nichole Reed, 30, after she was observed stuffing seven lobster tails down her pants at a supermarket in Deland, Fla., and leaving without paying. Reed told the arresting officer she was going to trade the lobster tails to a friend and possibly buy food at a Chinese buffet. (Orlando Sentinel)

Success Breeds Failure
City buses in Saint John, New Brunswick, stopped offering free wireless Internet service to riders after it became so popular that the cost tripled. “There started to be a pattern of abuse develop, especially in the last six to eight months, where we had a lot of people streaming and downloading very extensive files, and the usage got very high,” Frank McCarey, general manager of the Saint John Transit Commission, said, explaining that Wi-Fi costs jumped from $1,000 to $3,000 a month. “You like to offer things, just as long as they’re not too expensive.” (CBC News)

Compiled from mainstream news sources by Roland Sweet. Authentication on demand.