Videorama 

American Psycho (Lions Gate, R) The greatest history lesson on the ’80s ever! Finally, the genius of Huey Lewis & the News gets props! If you happen to be a twisted puppy (face it, if you’re reading back this far in the freebie paper, you qualify), you’ll find Christian Bale’s yucky-yuppie-cum-sicko-slasher to be the best comedic performance of the year. If you work in sales, you’ll just consider him misunderstood. (Released Sept. 5)

American Virgin (Sterling, R) American Psycho, American Beauty, American Pie, American Movie—where does it stop? An adult-film kingpin (Robert Loggia) learns that his competition is staging the pay-per-view deflowering of a teen hottie (Mena Suvari), who just happens to be the kingpin’s daughter, via a virtual sex machine (an uncredited Al Gore). (Sept. 5)

Any Given Sunday (Warner Bros., R) Having ruined war, JFK conspiracy theories and The Doors (OK, not hard) for everyone, director Oliver Stone squints at football, with Al Pacino as the driven coach, Jamie Foxx as the hot-shot quarterback and Cameron Diaz as the team’s hell-bitch-on-wheels owner. Not quite as riveting as The Waterboy, but what could be? (Sept. 5)

Bloody Murder (Artisan, R) Sex-crazed teens head off to summer camp, only to get chain-sawed up into little bitty pieces by some guy in a hockey mask—why hasn’t anyone thought of this before? (Sept. 12)

East Is East (Miramax, R) A strict Pakistani father has big troubles raising his sex-crazed teens in the traditional ways. The solution? Ship ’em off to that summer camp, pop! (Sept. 12)

Mission to Mars (Touchstone, PG) Don Cheadle gets lost on Mars, and only Tim Robbins and Gary Sinese can find him. Two hours later, they’re still on aisle 12 looking at new Stratocasters. (Sept. 12)

Slow Burn (Artisan, R) Minnie Driver searches for diamonds in the desert, only to be beaten to the gems by two escaped convicts who take her prisoner … James Spader and Josh Brolin. These wimps are the cons? Were Brian Boitano and Scott Hamilton busy that week? (Sept. 12)

Turbulence 2: Fear of Flying (TriMark, R) Why make a sequel to a movie no one ever saw in the first place? Following Lauren Holly’s career-killing blueprint, Jennifer Beals must stop a wacko terrorist who’s sneaked a nerve-gas bomb onto a 747. Why her? Were Brian Boitano and Scott Hamilton busy that week? (Sept. 12)

Tweety’s Highflying Adventure (Warner Bros., G) Fed up with Granny and that damn puddy-tat, Tweety builds a nerve-gas bomb and takes a 747 hostage. (Sept. 12)

High Fidelity (Touchstone, R) As tough as it is to buy into the premise that obsessive music geeks working in record stores can’t hold on to girlfriends, this John Cusack flick is real, sweet and funny as hell. Also available on vinyl DVD. (Sept. 19)

Jesus’ Son (Lions Gate, R) Need to inject some actual character into your movie’s character? Make him a junkie! Or, in her case, a junkie-stripper! Never fails! (Sept. 19)

The Little Mermaid 2: Return to the Sea (Disney, G) After getting fired from her latest strip-club job (the tail and flippers just aren’t conducive to lap-dancing), a strung-out Ariel returns to her ocean ’hood and checks into Flounder’s Rehab Clinic. (Sept. 19)

Me, Myself, I (Sony Classics, NR) Gross-out hilarity ensues when Jim Carrey and Renee Zellweger get together in this outrageous Farrelly Brothers comedy … What? Wrong movie? Oh, this one’s about a lonely woman plagued by feelings of loss. Well, that’s not very funny. (Sept. 19)

Passion of Mind (Paramount, PG-13) Demi Moore stars in a dual dramatic role—OK, now that’s funny! (Sept. 19)

Ready to Rumble (Warner Bros., PG-13) Tubby-boy Oliver Platt stars as the most athletically gifted pro wrestler in the world—now that’s even funnier! Throw in a few WCW lugs, Rose McGowan as a cheerleadin’ Nitro Girl, and David Arquette as, well, anything, and you’ve got the comedy of the year! After American Psycho, that is. (Sept. 19)

RPM (Paramount, R) David Arquette and Famke Janssen stealin’ cars—how could this not be better than Gone in 60 Seconds? Arquette could kick Nicholas Cage’s ass, and Janssen … mrrrow! (Sept. 19)

28 Days (Columbia TriStar, PG-13) Attention all video-store employees: Either file this Sandra Bullock rehab comedy numerically (before the “A” section), or in the “Ts” (as in Twenty-Eight). Pick one, stick with it, and no one gets hurt. (Sept. 19)

American Women (Fox Searchlight, PG-13) American Psycho, American Beauty, American Pie, American Movie, American Virgin—what’s next? American Pimp? There’s a film called that, too? Oh man … (Sept. 26)

Black & White (Columbia TriStar, R) Ben Stiller is a cop, Brooke Shields is a documentary filmmaker and Claudia Schiffer is a college student working on her thesis—wow, these nearly trump Demi Moore’s dual dramatic role. (Sept. 26)

Final Destination (New Line, R) In a turn of events veteran Videorama readers saw coming from a mile away, a group of high school kids cheat Death by not boarding a doomed flight that gets hijacked by Tweety Bird. (Sept. 26)

The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (Universal, PG) Kristen Johnston (3rd Rock From the Sun) and Jane Krakowski (Ally McBeal) make the hottest Wilma and Betty ever! Sure, the movie sucks, but it’s still a better “prequel” than Star Wars: Episode One—and Wilma and Betty are hot! Didja get that? (Sept. 26)

Screwed (Universal, PG-13) Norm Macdonald kidnaps his boss’s dog, then spends the rest of the film being Norm Macdonald. Chick flick? Oh yeah. (Sept. 26)

Where the Heart Is (Fox, PG-13) Dumped by her abusive boyfriend, preggo white-trash teen Natalie Portman gives birth in a Wal-Mart and becomes a celebrity. Sorry, but in reality, no one would even notice one more white-trash teen with a screaming baby in Wal-Mart. (Sept. 26)