Well, September sure came and left. I've just now returned stateside, after a month of drinking ouzo and beer visiting from one side of Greece (Olympia, plus the islands of Cephalonia and Lefkada) to the next (the islands of Tinos, Syros and Naxos).
About 60 great folks (split into two overlapping groups in Athens) came along for the annual City Weekly Trip to Greece. In truth, I drank more than ouzo and beer, sometimes opting for wine or a delicious craft cocktail.
Athens is home to several clubs that have been named in the Top 10 cocktail bars in the world. Have you ever been to The Clumsies or Baba au Rum? Well, you should. The first was a pioneer in the craft cocktail arena and even serves a drink called the "Greek Salad," which by damn does indeed taste like a Greek Salad. And the latter must have hundreds of rum varieties available.
I never drank rum unless it was stupid night. But, to have a rum cocktail served up at Baba au Rum? Well, I gotta admit my mind has been altered, a revelation you might say.
And that says nothing for other beautiful and distinctive bars in Athens like the Juan Rodriquez, 7 Jokers, En Aithria, S.I.X. Dogs and the crazy cool antique drinkery, Brettos. There are so many to choose from, and each is basically a work of art. Email me and join us sometime to see for yourself.
Among my rituals for a Greece visit is the near-virtual tune out of all news. I never watch TV (except late night pirated University of Utah football games) and I avoid newspapers. It's hard to lose complete touch with all things thanks to social media, but by and large I limit that, too.
An exception this year was that, despite how much ouzo, beer, wine or cocktails I had, I kept circling back to whatever stupid comments were being uttered by Utah's favorite Trump pets, Sen. Mike Lee and Gov. Spencer J. Cox. As you know, Trump famously has no real pets, so he kicks human beings around instead. They seem to like it.
So it was last Tuesday, while putzing around Athens on our final day when, lo, Mike Lee proclaimed on a Tucker Carlson podcast his latest dumb theory about global warming and climate change. For those with longish memories, recall that in 2019, prior to Lee completely losing his mind and handing both hair follicles and brain cells over to Trump Laboratories, he said that the solution to climate change was not only to deny it, but to save the planet by having more children. I didn't then, and I do not now, get the connection.
What he said, in response to the Satan Devil Democrats discussing the Green New Deal was: "The solution to climate change is not this un-serious resolution that we're considering this week in the Senate, but rather the serious business of human flourishing. The solution to many of our problems, at all times and in all places is to fall in love, get married and have some kids."
And they say down at BYU that ouzo kills brain cells?
That was back in Lee's lucid phase. Last week, in his classically ambiguous way, Lee told Tucker Carlson that "someone" had sent him "some pictures" of "some Roman baths" that were located "somewhere along the coast in Europe" that are at the same distance to the sea now as they were during the days of the Roman Empire. Because that is the case, reasoned Lee, it is solid evidence that the seas are not rising and all this global warming, climate change nonsense is just fiction.
As luck would have it, when I saw that "news" I was at a vantage point in Athens that overlooks the Ancient Roman Agora, wherein sits "some Roman baths," but which are better known as "shitters" down in Fairview where Spencer J. Cox lives. To be fair, they are not near the sea, therefore in this case, not a reliable comparison.
However, just to the north of Athens is Thermopylae, where the 300 Spartans died fighting the Persians. History tells us that battle was in a narrow passage between the mountains and the sea. Now the sea is about a mile away. Just east of Athens is a partially submerged city near the famous Poseidon's Temple at Cape Sounion. Farther south is Pavlopetri, a fully submerged ancient city, shitters and all.
The point is, Lee again doesn't know what he's talking about, but as a dutiful born and bred Utahn, he cannot help himself but to jump to stupid conclusions about something he knows nothing about—in this case not only climate change, but also why and how sea levels fluctuate. He just talks and people are awed.
I am not awed by Lee's words any more than I was awed by Edgar Bergen's Charlie McCarthy. Lee is just a puppet after all.
Still, there's time between ouzos today to help Mr. Lee and other BYU science majors. Take a look at that big white "Y" on the hillside above the BYU campus. See those lines running along the foothills? If you can't see them, look harder or come up here to Salt Lake Valley where they are easier to view. Anyway, those lines were once the various shorelines of the fluctuating levels of ancient Lake Bonneville.
If Lee went up there, he might find evidence of ancient transgender restrooms left by Utah's original inhabitants. They are no longer at lake level because there is no lake. Why? Well, it isn't due to not having enough babies.
If he had a personality, I'd invite Lee out for an ouzo. He's gonna need it.
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