Utah’s Mike Lee seeks to cut funding for Marxist NPR and PBS. 

Hey Wilson, did you realize that NPR and PBS are a bunch of commie pinkos? Big Bird and Cookie Monster are actually Marxist shills. Who knew? But thanks to Utah Republican Sen. Mike Lee, we now see that's exactly what they are. He wants to stop funding them immediately through his “Defund Government Sponsored Propaganda Act.”

As Lee explained, those radio and television networks don't spout the patriotic right-wing agenda. They aren't like that bastion of patriotism, Fox News; they aren't owned by that great patriot family from Australia via London, the Murdoch clan, headed up by the prince of fairness and balance, Rupert Murdoch.

As Sen. Lee said, NPR and PBS produce biased news and use taxpayer money to “disseminate political propaganda.” And if Lee doesn't know political propaganda, who does?

When the PBS series NOVA broadcasts programs such as “Saving the Right Wales” or “Ancient Builders of the Amazon,” it's actually a sneak attack on the American people—educating them while they aren't looking. The last thing MAGA needs is a knowledgeable electorate. That's why NPR and PBS are so antithetical to good authoritarian governance.

So goodbye Bert, Ernie, Elmo and Baby Bear, it's been nice knowing you—too bad you turned out to be such radical propagandists.

The Emperor’s New Clothes and Money Bag
A nude man was rumored to be streaking the back corridors of the U.S. Capitol Building, and sources who saw that pink South African butt said it bore a resemblance to the fanny of Elon Musk. Those in the know say the South African native has always been a flasher and show off. Lately, with unbridled authority from President Donald J. Trump, Elon has taken to slashing the “Deep State” here, there and everywhere.

As evidenced by his garlic-eating grin, he seems to be enjoying it. The $250 million he contributed to Trump's campaign looks to be worth every penny. Elon—the world's richest man—is quite vocal about his desire to cut $3 trillion from the federal budget. He's a bit less chatty about the $5.3 billion in grants he and his companies have received from U.S. taxpayers.

But that ain't all, he's also got an additional $5.5 billion in loans and contracts from the Department of Energy and NASA. That's a total of $10.8 billion.

Will he trim the waste from his own taxpayer-funded welfare? Nah. Not so with U.S.A.I.D., the agency that does humanitarian work around the globe, the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, Office of Personnel Management, EPA, and Veterans Affairs.

Still, Republicans seem to like the emperor's new clothes and they are slaves to fashion, if you catch our drift.

The Jan. 6 Board Game is Here—For Real!
“Fight for America” is kinda like a cross between the board game Risk and Dungeons & Dragons. Ten thousand mini insurrectionists face off against 2,000 tiny cops in front of a 14-foot-long Capitol Building that's five feet high. The game designer, Alessio Cavatore, hopes it will bring Reds and Blues together.

"Let's play a game and then let's have a chat. Let's talk about things,” he said. “We may not change minds, but at least we're getting an understanding from the other side."

Right. How do you talk to people who continue to insist Trump won in 2020 despite rulings from more than 60 courts? Ugh.

Anyway, each player has a character card representing a real person who was at the Capitol on Jan. 6. Winning is the only objective, no matter the toll. Sound familiar? The Red Team, of course, wants to hang Mike Pence. No Wilson, we'll never know what would have happened if they had found him.

But all of the insurrectionists are now out of prison and some are vowing retribution. Wonder if they'd like to play a game of “Fight for America” or maybe terrorize some judges? It's kinda strange, Wilson, Americans reelected the guy who sought to overturn a free and fair election and who then let all those rioters out of prison. How do we deal with that?

Create a board game, of course. God bless America.

Postscript—That's a wrap for another week in Donald Trump's Golden Age America, where Smart Bomb's crack staff keeps track of Denmark's attempts to buy California so you don't have to. Xavier Dutoit is one adroit Dane—he launched a petition prodding Denmark to buy California that has gathered more than 250,000 signatures.

“Have you ever looked at a map and thought, You know what Denmark needs?” the petition asks. “More sunshine, palm trees, and roller skates.”

This, of course, comes on the heels of Trump's demand to buy Greenland from Denmark. Dutoit told the Associated Press that Trump didn't seem to grasp how “unhinged and absurd” that is. Well Wilson, at least the Danes can expect to get something for Greenland, unlike what Trump is offering Palestinians for the Gaza Strip.

Secretary of State Marco Rubio doubled down in Israel on the plan to relocate 2 million Palestinians to Egypt or Jordan or somewhere, so the U.S. can take ownership of their homeland and develop it into “the Riviera of the Middle East.” How do you spell c-o-l-o-n-i-z-a-t-i-o-n?

And finally this: President Trump will form a task force on eradicating anti-Christian bias, on account of white Christian men being discriminated against almost as much as Jesus of Nazareth. Poor babies.

Well Wilson, there are storm clouds gathering on the horizon. Better get the guys in the band to put down the Cuervo and take us out with something that'll help gird our loins:

Oh, where have you been, my blue-eyed son?
And where have you been, my darling young one?
I've stumbled on the side of twelve misty mountains
I've walked and I've crawled on six crooked highways
I've stepped in the middle of seven sad forests
I've been out in front of a dozen dead oceans
I've been ten thousand miles in the mouth of a graveyard
And it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard, and it's a hard
It's a hard rain's a-gonna fall

And what'll you do now, my blue-eyed son?
And what'll you do now, my darling young one?
I'm a-goin' back out 'fore the rain starts a-fallin'
I'll walk to the depths of the deepest dark forest
Where the people are many and their hands are all empty
Where hunger is ugly, where souls are forgotten
Where black is the color, where none is the number
And I'll tell and speak it and think it and breathe it
And reflect from the mountain so all souls can see it
And I'll stand on the ocean until I start sinkin'
But I'll know my song well before I start singin'
And it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard, and it's a hard
It's a hard rain's a-gonna fall
“Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall”—Bob Dylan