Useless Crap | Staff Box | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly
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Useless Crap 

Stuff we have no use for

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Is there something that’s so useless you want it abolished?

Eric Peterson: Why have a voice mail that allows someone only six seconds to leave a message?! That’s not even enough time to leave a phone number! Aargh! Every time I get one of those it makes me want to eat my phone.

Scott Renshaw: Nope, everything is completely necessary. Now excuse me while I spend the next seven hours playing Angry Birds on my smartphone.

Bryan Mannos: Mosquitos. I just don’t see the purpose. And dolphins.

Kolbie Stonehocker: TRAX stations that only have cash-only ticket machines. God forbid some of the money spent to make those shiny new trains go to installing some 21st-century ticket-dispensing technology. Like I want to have cash on me at any TRAX station, anyway.

Derek Carlisle: Comic Sans, Papyrus and Copperplate.

Kelly Cannon: Baby registries. I didn’t buy anything for your wedding, why would you think I’d buy something for your kid?

Jerre Wroble: Vitamin supplements. If think you’re low on something, maybe eat a bowl of colorful fruit/veggies from the farmers market. Chase it with a bran muffin. Then go outside and get some sun. With the money you save, maybe you can spring for organic bananas.

Rachel Piper: Those coupon mailers that fill up my mailbox. I’m not a crazy coupon lady, so I don’t care that I can get 10 pairs of athletic socks for a dollar at Reams.

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