UFO signals appear to be coming from alien AI bots | Opinion | Salt Lake City Weekly

UFO signals appear to be coming from alien AI bots 

Smart Bomb: The completely unnecessary news analysis

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Recent findings suggest that what is suspected to be the first communication from aliens may be that of robots from outside our galaxy. This comes as fears escalate on this planet that artificial intelligence (AI) could take over after it learns to replicate itself and no longer needs humans.

Last week, top scientists warned that a new generation of AI chatbots could soon outsmart humans. "Mitigating the risk of extinction from AI should be a global priority alongside other societal-scale risks such as pandemics and nuclear war," said a statement from the Center for AI Safety.

The realization that the first message from a UFO could be from bots who drove the population of another world to extinction has raised alarm in the scientific community. "Advancements in AI will magnify the scale of automated decision-making that is biased, discriminatory, exclusionary, while also being inscrutable and incontestable," said Oxford's Elizabeth Renieris.

Scientists have sought contact with other intelligence since 1978, when Voyager went into space containing earthly sounds including, “The Magic Flute,” “The Well-Tempered Clavier” and “Johnny B. Goode.” The recent alien bots' message reportedly says it likes Chuck Berry but Mozart and Bach not so much, with the exclamation, “Go, go... go Johnny, go! Johnny B. Goode.”

Let’s Have Us a Good Ol’ Fashioned Book Burning
Here we go again: Utah makes national headlines—this time for banning The Bible in school libraries. WTF? Apparently, it's due to all that fornication. In The Bible? Who knew?

When Wilson and the guys were youngsters, the only way to get them to read a book was to ban it. Will we see a new breed of Bible readers?

Conservative groups, looking to vent their pent-up Trumpian anger, took up the book ban battle, saying children would read books and turn into criminals, queers or woke liberals. Among the classics targeted are The Catcher in the Rye, The Grapes of Wrath and Brave New World. Newer titles at the top of the banned list are All Boys Aren't Blue, The Perks of Being a Wallflower and Me and Earl and the Dying Girl.

According to the American Library Association, many targeted books focus on LGBTQ or Black characters. No wonder right-wingers are worried—imagine a world of peace, love and understanding.

Ray Bradbury's classic sci-fi novel, Fahrenheit 451 (the temperature at which paper burns) was inspired by book burnings in Nazi Germany and the repression of the Soviet Union. As McCarthyism deepened in the 1950s, he feared book burnings in the U.S.

These days, MAGA mothers fear their kids are in the tree house reenacting scenes from Lawn Boy. Get the kerosene.

Tellings Sings That Ron DeSantis is a Fascist
Tom Huckin turned to the late Italian philosopher Umberto Eco to determine if Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis is a fascist. In an op-ed for The Trib, Huckin ticks off Eco's signs of fascism, such as “contempt for the weak” and “fear of diversity.” The crack staff here at Smart Bomb took a closer look at his alleged fascist attributes:

—DeSantis hates Mickey Mouse because he's woke and possibly Bi. Still, the governor secretly wears Mickey Mouse underpants.
—Disney is the Woke Devil who must be stopped to preserve the cultural traditions of God and country. Otherwise our children could grow up singing, “M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E...”
—DeSantis met his wife while golfing and said, “Have you seen my balls?” He has since repeated that greeting over and over again at his rallies.
—While in Congress, DeSantis was a founding member of the “Up-Yours” caucus, taking the fascist canon that disagreement is treason.
—DeSantis used Florida state funds to fly immigrants from the Texas border to Martha's Vineyard, sneering, “How do you like them enchiladas.”
—Former DeSantis staffers started a support group, explaining the trauma: “He uses people like toilet paper.” Just don't squeeze the Charmin.

Postscript—That'll do it for another week here at Smart Bomb where we keep track of Republicans running for president so you don't have to: 10 and counting. The 2024 general election is only 18 months away and every day will be chock full of breathtaking news that you won't remember next week.

For Donald Trump, the more the merrier. Each additional candidate dilutes the anti-Trump voter pool, setting up a sure victory for the Republican nomination by the soon-to-be indicted former president. If you're tired of it now, just give it a year.

For GOP hopefuls, the question is how to out-Trump Trump. You're right, Wilson, no one can out-Trump Trump, that would be like nuclear fusion or something: crazier than Trump; lying more than Trump; cheating more than Trump? It's just not possible—especially for true Trumpers.

Indictment for stealing classified materials—nope. Bragging about grabbing women's crotches —nope. Having sex with a porn star right after your wife gives birth—nope. Attempting to overturn an election for president—nope. What's left?

Republicans challenging Trump have formed a circular firing squad. But how is it going to look when the Republicans nominate a leader that is in prison? Well, if Vito Genovese can do it, why not?

Wilson, the world just keeps getting crazier and crazier. It's like a sci-fi movie where we've collided with a parallel universe. But let's forget about that for a minute so we can dwell on some nostalgia where we can rearrange our memories to fit our mood. Take, for example, the birth of rock ' roll:

Deep down in Louisiana close to New Orleans
Way back up in the woods among the evergreens
There stood a log cabin made of earth and wood
Where lived a country boy named Johnny B. Goode
Who never ever learned to read or write so well
But he could play a guitar just like a-ringing a bell

Go go/Go Johnny go!/Go,Go Johnny go!
Go,Go Johnny go!/Johnny B. Goode!

He used to carry his guitar in a gunny sack
Go sit beneath the tree by the railroad track
Oh, the engineer would see him sittin' in the shade
Strummin' with the rhythm that the drivers made
The people passing by, they would stop and say
"Oh my, but that little country boy could play"

Go go/Go Johnny go!/Go,Go Johnny go!
Go,Go Johnny go!/Johnny B. Goode!

His mother told him, "Someday you will be a man,
And you will be the leader of a big ol' band
Many people comin' from miles around
To hear you play your music when the sun go down
Maybe someday your name'll be in lights
Sayin' 'Johnny B. Goode tonight!'"

Go go/Go Johnny go!/Go,Go Johnny go!
Go,Go Johnny go!/Johnny B. Goode!
“Johnny B. Goode”—Chuck Berry

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