The Ocho | News | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly
DONATE

The Ocho 

Eight new rules for local skate parks and skateboarders, from the desk of Sandy Mayor Tom Dolan

Pin It
Favorite

8. “Skate in an orderly, counterclockwise fashion with four wheels on the cement at all times. Square-dance rules apply.nn

7. “No bangs past the eyebrows'they obscure vision, increase the potential for accidents and just look gay.nn

6. “Cigarettes and underwear visible above pants will be confiscated.nn

5. “No ski caps in the summertime. Seriously, it’s 100 degrees outside'what’s wrong with you?nn

4. “Aerial tricks are strictly forbidden; lip tricks only permitted with proof of age and Chapstick.nn

3. “Boarders over 25 will be ejected and referred to Salt Lake County’s new Senior Skate Park facility.nn

2. “The ‘Ollie’ is a tool of Satan and will be dealt with as such.nn

1. “No swearing, yelling, shoving or any other behavior one would normally see on a Major League Soccer field.

Pin It
Favorite

More by Bill Frost

  • Available Jones

    Eight great achievements by Utah Gov. Gary Herbert during eight years in office.
    • Nov 29, 2017
  • Get Happy!

    Happy! brings the weirdness to Syfy; Fuller House further erodes 'Merica.
    • Nov 29, 2017
  • Thanks for Nothin'

    Eight things you just don't want to hear from family this Thanksgiving.
    • Nov 22, 2017
  • More »

Latest in News

  • Ballots Gone Postal

    Whether mailed in, dropped off or cast by machine on Election Day, voting in Utah remains safe and easy.
    • Oct 28, 2020
  • Our Community part 3

    Local stories of adaptability and compassion to lift your cooped-up spirits.
    • Apr 22, 2020
  • Stream Queens

    Due to lack of physical venues, two drag performers assemble an all-star cast for digital show.
    • Apr 1, 2020
  • More »

Readers also liked…

  • Through the Looking Glass

    Local witches discuss an occult practice related to Latter-day Saint history.
    • Oct 30, 2019
  • Recycling Enforcers

    An inside look at who's trying to help Salt Lake City residents stay up-to-date on the recycling world's changes.
    • Nov 27, 2019

© 2021 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation