The Ocho | News | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

The Ocho 

Eight ways Utah state liquor stores should attempt to offset sticker-shock over new higher prices for alcohol

Pin It
Favorite

8. Bikini models serving free sample shots at most locations (topless in Ogden).

nn

7. Rock radio stations holding “Peg the Breathalyzer” contests in the parking lots to win Def Leppard tickets.

nn

6. Advertise lower-end liquors on the bottom shelves with multipurpose promise “Also strips paint, clears drains and kills weeds.nn

5. Introduce new “Drinky McHooch’s Kidz Playland” child-care corners for alcoholic parents on the go.

nn

4. Install mini-stores on all TRAX trains to help justify UTA’s new rate hikes.

nn

3. Place the beers in unplugged refrigerators to at least give the appearance of correctly chilling them.

nn

2. Sell drinker-friendly magazines at the checkout stand, like Modern Drunkard, Bartender Magazine and Utah Bride & Groom.

nn

1. Bring back the mini bottle. It’s just the right thing to do.

Pin It
Favorite

More by Bill Frost

  • Get Happy!

    Happy! brings the weirdness to Syfy; Fuller House further erodes 'Merica.
    • Nov 29, 2017
  • Available Jones

    Eight great achievements by Utah Gov. Gary Herbert during eight years in office.
    • Nov 29, 2017
  • Thanks for Nothin'

    Eight things you just don't want to hear from family this Thanksgiving.
    • Nov 22, 2017
  • More »

Latest in News

  • Bigger, Better People

    Utah agencies are resettling fewer refugees than ever. What does that mean for those who are already here?
    • Oct 17, 2018
  • One Man's Trash

    Not all are happy with Salt Lake City's new junk cleanup program.
    • Oct 10, 2018
  • Taking Clients' Vitals

    New digital survey gives homeless people a say in how five Utah organizations can better tailor their services.
    • Oct 3, 2018
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

  • Taking the Plunge

    Once flourishing, derelict bath house faces uncertain future.
    • Sep 13, 2017
  • Going, Going, Gone?

    Rights to a sizable chunk of public lands is up for grabs.
    • Feb 7, 2018

© 2018 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation