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Eight alternatives to the Utah Office of Tourism’s new “One Tank Away” slogan to keep vacationers in-state this summer

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8. “Now With Fewer Crazy Killer Bearsnn

7. “It’s Like Nevada'Without the Gambling, Whores and Proximity to Californiann

6. “All of Your MySpace Friends Are Here … Losernn

5. Their Liquor Stores Are Way Too Big and Confusingnn

4. “Sunstroke & Melanoma: Now More Treatable Than Evernn

3. “See the Sights of Big Love … Minus Some of the Polygsnn

2. “Airplanes Are Dangerous and Only Pussies Drive Hybridsnn

1. “One Pitcher of Margaritas Awaynn

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