8. How to Suppress Your Inner Demons and Not Murder Your Overly Chipper Radio Partner, by Grant Nielsen
7. Wake Up to a Complete Stranger Tea-Bagging You on the Floor of the Viper Room, by Lindsay Lohan
6. Seriously, I’m a Soulless Vortex of Chuckling Anguish Here, by Grant Nielsen
5. Harnessing Your Personal Power Through Gleaming, Hypnotic Teeth, by Anthony Robbins
4. One Baby Anecdote Away From a Shooting Spree, People, by Grant Nielsen
3. The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Shadow Puppet Masters, by Dick Cheney
2. I Warned You: Now the Streets Will Run Red With Blood and Diet Pepsi, by Grant Nielsen
1. Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand
end{::INSERTAD::}