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The Ocho 

Eight events taking place soon after the Tuesday, Nov. 7 elections

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8. LaVar Christensen joins John Swallow and Cody Judy co-hosting the “Kooky Kandidates of Yesteryear” Fun Bus to Wendover.

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7. The Utah Green Party places blame for losses squarely on a cheeky City Weekly sub-head.

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6. In disgust over yet another Republican landslide, Utah liberals vow to finally find out if they’re actually registered and where to vote. Right after the drum circle.

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5. The Salt Lake Tribune throws back-patting party for itself after endorsing long-shot winners that no one thought had a chance.

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4. The Utah Democratic Party closes up shop to make way for a new Chili’s.

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3. Construction on all roads and rail lines to be magically completed overnight by Prop. 3 Tax Gnomes.

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2. The Diebold electronic-voting machine company issues apology for the geek-hacker election of Kara “Starbuck” Thrace to the Utah Senate.

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1. Pete Ashdown e-explodes all of Orrin Hatch’s computers.

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