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The Ocho 

An 8-pack of political beer

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Eight new election-seasonal beers from Utah brewers:

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8. Orrin Hatch’s Ferret-Lipped Pinhead Porter: A dark, full-bodied ale with familiar, aged flavor and bitter finish, every time.

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7. James Evans’ Whoa! Cracker! Pale Ale: A light-bodied and thin-skinned ale that makes everybody sound like a racist.

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6. Chris Buttars’ Harebrained Hefeweizen: A wheat beer brewed with half-baked yeast and hops, filtered through an aluminum-foil hat.

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5. Pete Ashdown’s ISP IPA: A hoppy India Pale Ale with a bold aroma, fully downloadable and interactive.

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4. LaVar Christensen’s Loopy Loser Lager: A crispy, nutty lager with an unsatisfying finish despite being a crazy-Republican beer in a crazy-Republican state.

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3. Peter Corroon’s Flip-Flop Soccer Hop Amber Ale: A medium-bodied ale with a one-term tang and $55 million finish.

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2. Jenny Wilson’s St. Teddy’s Girl Pilsner: A golden pilsner brewed with mayoral genes and zero prior keg experience.

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1. Rocky Anderson’s Lame Duck Stout: A malty stout with a creamy 15-month finish, perfect for overnight sleepovers in Pioneer Park.

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