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Eight reasons Salt Lake City mayor Rocky Anderson won’t be running for a third term in 2007

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8. City Weekly commissioned the perfect mayoral portrait for the City & County Building; why go on?

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7. Rocky wants to return to his roots and get back to abusing employees in the private sector.

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6. Clubber Lang scares the hell out of him. (That’s a Rocky III reference, kids.)

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5. Rocky’s arch-nemesis John Saltas is retiring from writing Private Eye in City Weekly … or is he?

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4. He’s taking a seat on the Utah Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control. Actually, it’s more of a barstool.

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3. Holding public office was keeping Rocky from his true calling: Becoming the next star of ABC’s The Bachelor.

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2. That endorsement from In Utah This Week (between “Summer’s Hot Accessory: Water!” and “Puppies: They’re Cute!”) was pretty much the campaign’s death knell.

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1. The only person Rocky has left to fire is himself.

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