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The Totally Smokin’ List of 8

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Eight reasons to ban smoking in Utah’s private clubs:

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8. For the children … who are never in clubs, anyway.

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7. To save the lungs of ban proponent Editor Ben Fulton … who’s never in clubs, anyway.

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6. So we can be more like Los Angeles'minus the distraction of nightlife.

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5. To bring out the full, rich flavor of 3.2 beer.

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4. Karaoke singers will have more lung capacity to fumble through “Hollaback Girl.”

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3. We can build a discarded ashtray tower to the moon.

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2. Fingers crossed, Jon Huntsman Jr. will someday return to Burt’s Tiki Lounge.

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1. Clubbers will finally find the will power to quit smoking on their own … yeah, right.

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