8. City Weekly commissioned the perfect mayoral portrait for the City & County Building; why go on?
nn7. Rocky wants to return to his roots and get back to abusing employees in the private sector.
nn6. Clubber Lang scares the hell out of him. (That’s a Rocky III reference, kids.)
nn5. Rocky’s arch-nemesis John Saltas is retiring from writing Private Eye in City Weekly … or is he?
nn4. He’s taking a seat on the Utah Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control. Actually, it’s more of a barstool.
nn3. Holding public office was keeping Rocky from his true calling: Becoming the next star of ABC’s The Bachelor.
nn2. That endorsement from In Utah This Week (between “Summer’s Hot Accessory: Water!” and “Puppies: They’re Cute!â€) was pretty much the campaign’s death knell.
nn1. The only person Rocky has left to fire is himself.