The Ocho | Salt Lake City Weekly

Sun's Out, Guns Out

Eight things to know before watching the solar eclipse on Monday.

F****** Movies!

Eight most popular movies currently available through VidAngel.

20 Years of Adequacy

Eight hottest stories Bill Frost was chasing as a new City Weekly staffer in August 1997.

Mess o' Congress

Eight critical analyses of Utah's 3rd Congressional District candidates running to replace Jason Chaffetz.
Joe Buchman, Pros: Libertarian. Academic. Cons: Preaches self-governance, non-violence and other crazy shit.

Liquor in the Front

Eight potential downtown sites for the relocation of the State Liquor Store on 400 South.
The Zephyr Club (yeah, still getting mileage out of that one).

#GordoNoGo

Eight ways Gordon Hayward leaving the Utah Jazz will affect your life.
I mean, keep on believin'!

Trumpicide®

Eight more health care bills coming after the inevitable failure of the Better Care Reconciliation Act.
The Soylent Green Initiative.

It's Beer:30 Somewhere

Eight local (and better) brew alternatives for when you can no longer find 3.2 macro beer in Utah.
Can't find Guinness? Buy Epic Brewing Co.'s 825 State Stout.

It's Art-ish!

Eight new attractions at the 2017 Utah Arts Festival.
Cowboy Poetry Slam Pit & Gun Range (sponsored by Skoal and Crossroads of the West Gun Show).

Modest Is Hottest

Eight new Utah "modest fashion" shops opening just in time for summer.
Potato Saks Fifth Avenue.

Patchouli Hell

Eight fun facts about Dead & Company, playing Usana Amphitheatre on June 7:
6. Garcia's Dead & Company replacement, John Mayer, is the first band member in 50 years to be found attractive by women.

Fry the World

Eight new names for 'fake' global warming—even though summer 2017 temperatures are projected to be even hotter than last year—because science is a liberal conspiracy.
“Extra Crispy”

Uncool for the Summer

Eight signs that it's summer in Utah.
Your redneck neighbors just brought back a truckload of fireworks from the Wyoming 'SplodyMart.

School's Out

Eight college commencement speeches you probably won't hear.
"Someday, You Could Be President. Seriously, It's a Shitshow Free-For-All Now. Go for It. Whatever."

Ratings Blowout

Eight “breaking” local TV “news” stories for May sweeps.
“KUTV Krazy Korner: We read emails from our most unhinged, racist viewers word-for-word, right after this.”

Bar? Restaurant? Jesus?

Eight ways to tell if you're in a Utah bar, not a restaurant.
Overwhelming feelings of guilt, shame and making Jesus cry.

Do Your (Other) Job

Eight temporary private-sector jobs for future Utah guv Jason Chaffetz:
Author of City Weekly's Ocho-replacement column, "J.C.'s Ethics Korner."

Eco Chamber

Eight ways to celebrate Earth Day 2017.
Stage concurrent Celestial, Terrestrial and Telestial Day celebrations.

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Recent Comments

  • Re: Mess o' Congress

    • I'll be on Coast To Coast AM late Saturday night (10:05PM Pacific; 11:05PM Mountain, 1:05AM…

    • on July 28, 2017
  • Re: Mess o' Congress

    • Based on size of beard, Sean wins and mine is pathetic. It also objects, using…

    • on July 27, 2017
  • Re: Mess o' Congress

    • Love the non-violence! and the self-ownership! Exactly what Utah needs now. For more "crazy" -…

    • on July 27, 2017
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