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January 23, 2008 News » The Ocho

The Ocho | The 2008 Utah legislative session 

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Eight ways the Utah legislative session is really going to be different in 2008:

8. Lawmakers will actually read the bills they’re voting on (applies to cartoon-form bills only).

7. Illegal immigration is priority No. 1. Priority No. 2: Sign-up sheet for Minutemen to mow senators’ lawns.

6. Funding for veterans will be more heavily considered. Then more quickly dismissed.

5. Alcohol will not be discussed, just wished away into the cornfield.

4. Lobbyists will be allowed to pay homage to their Dark Lord Satan only between 10 and 10:45 a.m.

3. Animal-torture bill will be presented by the cast of Puppy Bowl IV.

2. Bloggers will be allowed to invite up to three readers, if they have them.

1. Church/state boundaries will top the agenda—right after the daily prayer.

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