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The Ocho | Thankgsgiving Faux Pax 

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Eight more things you don’t want to hear around the Thanksgiving dinner table:

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8. “Uncle Ron canceled—but he said to watch for him on the To Catch a Predator marathon today.”

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7. “No, it’s not Tofurkey, it’s even better: Tirekey, made from recycled car radials!”

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6.Home for the Holidays was all rented out, so I got The Ingmar Bergman Collection.”

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5. “Surprise! This entire meal came from Carl’s Jr.!”

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4. “Who’s ready to watch six hours of Argentine soccer?”

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3. “You know, you can barely taste the vodka in the cranberry sauce.”

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2. “Pay no attention to the camera crew; that’s just for my reality show.”

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1. “The restraining order applies to holidays, too?”

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