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The Ocho | Smoke 'Em If Ya Got 'Em 

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Eight eventual benefits of the smoking ban going into effect in Utah bars Jan. 1, 2009:

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8. More stamina to outrun Mayor Becker’s hybrid police cars.

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7. Finally knowing what your favorite dive really smells like.

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6. No more women snubbing advances with a cigarette butt to your forehead.

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5. Finally knowing what your favorite stripper really looks like.

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4. A much healthier environment in which to ingest alcohol and fried food.

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3. No more feeling like chain-smoking jazz musicians are cooler than you.

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2. Saving enough money on cigarettes to buy first concealed weapon.

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1. Breaking one less Word of Wisdom code on the weekends.

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