Eight New Year enrollment incentives and classes being offered by local gyms:
n8. Complimentary protein/vodka shakes
n7. Happy-ending Pilates
n6. Wheatgrass hookahs
n5. Tele-cycling
n4. Free XXXL yoga pants labeled Small
n3. Spiritual strength training
n2. Combination tanning/liposuction beds
n1. CardioNap™