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Eight proposed locations for a new $81 million Broadway-style theater in Salt Lake City:

8. Adjoined to the new Real soccer stadium in Sandy, cost-effectively merging two things of no interest to Utahns.

7. The Zephyr Club, if only to stop those stupid posts on the City Weekly blog.

6. Southern Xposure in Murray, with a clause to keep the dancers.

5. The new Cottonwood Mall, between Hot Topic and Hot Topic Kidz.

4. The old Salt Lake Tribune building on Main Street, since nothing’s currently being produced there.

3. The new Salt Lake Tribune building in the Gateway, since nothing’s currently being produced there.

2. SoSaLa, wherever the hell that is.

1. Craig Meacham’s Glorious Hole at 21st South & Highland in Sugar House.

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