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Eight ways Utahns are spending their economic-stimulus checks from the federal government:
8. Direct deposit to their local State Liquor Store.
7. Sick spinner rims for 2003 Hyundai Elantra.
6. Advance copies of David Archuleta’s autobiography.
5. Preferred diners’ card at The Cheesecake Factory.
4. The complete According to Jim DVD set on Blu-Ray.
3. Down payment on sweet 56-square-foot Salt Lake City condo.
2. Boob job for mistress and, budget pending, second sister-wife.
1. Sandy City Council seat (with 32-ounce cup holder).
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