Surrendering Her Virtual | Arts & Entertainment | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

Surrendering Her Virtual 

When you’re trading sex for online props, you’re taking video games too far.

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As a video-game player, I can really get into the particular title I’m playing'but when the console is off, I’m done thinking about it. I don’t take John Madden to bed with me'a rule we should all follow, whether in video games or in real life.


I know there are those who take their love of games a little too far. I’ve written about sites like Second Life that allow you to create a complete online life and earn very real money; I’ve written about “clans” of players who join together to play multiplayer games. But this latest item takes the cake. Video-game obsession has officially gone way too far.


The ad on Craigslist read: “Hello, I need 5,000 world of gold for my Epic Flying Mount. In return you can mount me. I play a level 70 night-elf druid and would prefer someone who was into role playing. (I have a costume!) … honestly anyone will do, as long as you have the gold. I would also be OK with a woman too, as long as you have the gold!nn

Now, apparently, the creature to which she refers is indeed the best mount you can get in World of Warcraft. But, as far as I know, it does not come to life, allowing you to ride it around town and let it crap from above on people you don’t like. There are sites online that will sell you level-ups for various games, but this is the first time (to my knowledge) that booty has been exchanged for booty.


For those wondering: Yes, the woman did complete the transaction and even posted a picture on Craigslist of her riding through the game. According to the ad: “So talk all the trash you want, I got my epic Flying Mount and I got laid, which is more than most of you failures can hope for.” The worst part, of course, is that Congress will now likely hold hearings about how video games lead to sexual promiscuity.


Here are some other signs that you may be taking your gaming too seriously:


1. You lose a life or throw an interception, and you throw your controller.


2. You lose a life or throw an interception, and you throw the cat.


3. You walk into a bank, look at the guard in the corner and think, “Hey, I could take this place down.nn

4. You’re driving down the street and decide that you can jump over that road construction site and pass cars by going on the sidewalk.


5. You play a baseball or other sports game and after your win or loss you hold a press conference in your head (sadly, I’ve done this one).


The moral of this very sordid and extremely weird story: Sometimes we need to take a step back from our video games. The next time you decide it would be cool to exchange sex for a big flying video-game bird, repeat these sentences: “Video games are not real. Exchanging sex for video-game props is dumb. I need to snap back into reality and exchange sex for something more useful'like a car, a stack of hundreds or a really good meatball sandwich.nn

I guess we all have our price.

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