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Super Bowling 

8 ways to make sure that your team wins the Super Bowl

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8. Realize that the universe is hurtling toward entropy and nothing really matters.

7. JK! The Super Bowl is super important—wear your lucky jersey!

6. Down 49 beers on Sunday before kickoff, or whatever the hell number XLIX stands for.

5. Trust that the team that plays the game the most skillfully will come out on top.

4. JK! It's all about the inflation of the balls, dude!

3. Just keep reminding yourself that they're not the Utah Jazz.

2. If "your team" resides more than 100 miles from "your home," rethink allegiance.

1. Pray to your deity of choice for victory—or at least a halftime Katy Perry wardrobe malfunction.

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