click to enlarge
8. Tootsie Rolls: Lego turds
7. Whoppers: malted asbestos
6. Smarties: placebo Tums
5. Hershey’s Kisses: beginner
butt plugs
4. Swedish Fish: Satan’s earwax
3. Skittles: diet Starburst
2. Jolly Ranchers: vodka garnish
1. Candy corn: Trump nipples