Statham Mania | The Ocho | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

Statham Mania 

8 new Jason Statham movies

Pin It
Favorite
click to enlarge art15804.jpg

Eight Jason Statham movies coming in 2012 after this weekend’s “new” Safe:

8. Strung Out: Statham rescues a child violin prodigy; beats the hell out of Russian mobsters and a rogue brass section.

7. 32 Down: Statham rescues a brilliant crossword writer; beats the hell out of Japanese mobsters (aka the Sudoku Yakuza).

6. Iced: Statham rescues a teen figure-skating prodigy; beats the hell out of Canadian mobsters and drunken hockey fans.

5. Caged Rage: Statham rescues trafficked gerbils; beats the hell out of Mongolian mobsters and corrupt PetSmart employees.

4. Double Penetration: Statham rescues twin strippers; beats the hell out of Columbian mobsters and Secret Service agents.

3. Plinko Disaster: Statham rescues a record-winning Price Is Right contestant; beats the hell out of Drew Carey.

2. Dead Plastic Trees: Statham rescues Radiohead; beats the hell out of British mobsters and disgruntled rock critics.

1. Crank 3-D: Mormon Storm: Statham rescues Mitt Romney; beats the hell out of media mobsters and PETA.

Twitter: @Bill_Frost

Pin It
Favorite

Tags:

More by Bill Frost

  • Spandex Dreams

    GLOW glorifies the ladies of '80s wrestling; Preacher is back and ballistic.
    • Jun 21, 2017
  • It's Art-ish!

    Eight new attractions at the 2017 Utah Arts Festival.
    • Jun 21, 2017
  • Cowboy B-Slop

    The Ranch and Turn are almost done; T.J. Miller gets Meticulously Ridiculous.
    • Jun 14, 2017
  • More »

Latest in The Ocho

  • It's Art-ish!

    Eight new attractions at the 2017 Utah Arts Festival.
    • Jun 21, 2017
  • Modest is Hottest

    Eight new Utah "modest fashion" shops opening just in time for summer.
    • Jun 14, 2017
  • Patchouli Hell

    Eight fun facts about Dead & Company, playing Usana Amphitheatre on June 7:
    • Jun 7, 2017
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

  • Ocho, Out

    8 reasons The Ocho has been canceled
    • Nov 4, 2015
  • The Rest of the Best Ofs

    Eight more bold, fresh ideas coming from The Salt Lake Tribune after their local “Best of” Salt Awards
    • Sep 28, 2016

© 2017 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation