StaffBox: Sure Thing | News | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

StaffBox: Sure Thing 

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Have you ever bet on a sure thing, only to find out it wasn’t?

Doug Kruithof: If I were a betting man, it would have been Yanks/Indians—luckily, I’ve been too busy to call my bookie.

Lindsay Larkin: Like the seven and a half years I wasted on my ex-fiancé? I should have gone with the timeshare in Mexico. They offered me a free VCR, at least.

Tyler Bradshaw:
One jar of peanut butter, two golden retrievers, six stitches and three awkward questions later, I realized it was a bad idea from the start.

Faith Burnham:
Yeah, I made a bet with my old college roomies that I’d be the last of us to get married—so, of course, I found “the one” before they got back from their missions!

Justin Healy: It seems like every time I think something is a sure thing, I end up disappointed. It’s almost like someone upstairs is trying to remind me that I am not in charge.

Annie Quan:
Jackie Briggs at the roller rink. I thought for sure she would take everyone down. Started up the smack talk only to find she can’t even go backwards.

Jackie Briggs:
No, I’m the stupidest person alive. I literally shy away from a sure thing. In fact, my motto is: “Sure things are the new stupid things”—and, yes, I know it makes no sense. So what?

Brandon Burt: Nothing’s 100 percent sure—there’s always the slight possibility of a random cosmic ray or spontaneous molecular disintegration. The best strategy is to play the percentages—but allow room for intuition.

Benito J. Chacon: Let’s just say that I bet on a certain company’s stock, I retired at a young age, and now I’m back to the grind of work. And most of my relationships.

Nathan Levinson: I didn’t think there was a snowball’s chance in hell Dubya would be chosen to lead our country, and he’s led us to hell in a handbasket.

Holly Mullen: Yes. John Kerry in 2004 and Al Gore in 2000. I’m an undying, if not blind, political optimist. Given who we’re replacing in 2008, I can’t imagine betting wrong again. But Democrats do have a gift for gloriously self-destructing.

Scott Renshaw: I’ve never been a gambler because I’ve always known there are no sure things. Ain’t that right, USC Trojan fans?

Private Eye
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