StaffBox: Jilted Love | News | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

StaffBox: Jilted Love 

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Last time you were jilted by a lover, how did you react?

Stephen Dark: Jesus, my memory doesn’t stretch back that far. I recall in my early 20s, my deeply unrequited passion for a young lady who’d share my bed but not my heart. She dumped me in Trafalgar Square after I bought her boots. These boots are made for walking …

Nathan Levinson: I rolled over and found comfort in her twin sister.

Derek Jones: I was about 19, and it had been an off-and-on relationship for about four years. I was devastated and cried and cried for months. It was one of those situations where they severed any and all contact whatsoever (not by my choice). Looking back, it was the best thing for me in the end.

Nick Clark: Two words: Ben Der.

Justin Healy: It is hard to say, because one of the things I did was block it from my memory. I seem to remember a lot of crying, ice cream and buying myself nice things I had always wanted. Is that girly? Hey ladies, I’m sensitive.

Tyler Bradshaw: Well, the last time I was jilted by a lover, I moved 700 miles and started working for City Weekly. I think I traded up. I just wish City Weekly would “give it up” more often.

Emily Prachthauser: I took it pretty hard for a long time. According to my birth chart which, coincidentally, Susan Kruithof just read to me today, I don’t deal with rejection very well. I mean, come on. Who wouldn’t want me? Right? Why are you looking at me like that? Let’s talk about this.

Benito “Ben” Chacon: I went through the following stages: Shock, booze, sad-bastard music, wearing sunglasses all the time, booze, hanging with the bros, back to the dating game. But, right after the phone call, I did the following: stood outside her window in the rain with an old boombox held over my head playing “In Your Eyes.” God bless, you John Cusack.

Holly Mullen: Oooh, this is a touchy one! Without providing too much detail (he knows who he is), I caught him cheating. Among other fits of rage and anguish, I threw a Dr. Martens shoe at him from across the room. The lug sole missed his head by a mere inch or two.

Faith Burnham: I’ve never been jilted. I met my fiancé on the Internet, and he’s the only “lover” I’ve ever had. Yeah. Go ahead and mock me!

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