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Any friendly advice for Salt Lake’s new mayor Ralph Becker?
Scott Renshaw: The “enemies list” is kept in the third drawer on the left. You can erase John Saltas’ name now.
Faith Burnham: Make sure to get non-aerosol hairspray for that impeccable coif, Dude! Everyone has to do his part in the battle against pollution, you know.
Paula Saltas: Don’t be like Rocky and drop off your dog at my house ’cuz you’re too lazy to take care of it.
Jamie Gadette: Support and protect local businesses from skyrocketing rent, focus on mass transit and don’t let it all go to your head.
Nick Clark: You must simultaneously clean up our air and fix our liquor laws or they won’t like you.
Jennifer Higgins: Bring some shops, eats and drinks to Main Street downtown! Never in my life have I seen a city that was absolutely dead by 7 on any given night of the week. Zzzzz.
Derek Jones: Here is my advice: I think Rocky kept some Xanax hidden in the top desk drawer.
Brandon Burt: For some reason, a few crazy cats out in cities like Sandy and South Jordan think the Salt Lake City mayor is supposed to represent them. Ignore those crazy cats! They have their own mayors.
Tyler Bradshaw: Dude! Your eyebrows freak me the fuck out.
Annie Quan: Be nice to Paula Saltas. She runs this town.
Derek Carlisle: I heard you’re an outdoors-kinda mayor. If this is true, go north of Grizzly Gulch and on the high right is a great run called Razor Back. Local tip No. 403. Enjoy!
Jesse James Burnitt: Don’t be a pawn or a tool for corporate greed and keep the people in mind. Bring downtown back to life by supporting small businesses. Please!
Bryan Mannos: Free-ice-cream Fridays!
Valeri Tronier: Don’t cross any picket lines.
Lindsay Larkin: Stay on John Saltas’ good side.
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