Snooze, You Lose 

Curses, Foiled Again
After a 17-year-old baby sitter reported a home invasion and robbery, police in Ferndale, Wash., wound up arresting the sitter, her 16-year-old boyfriend and another male suspect because the child being watched contradicted the sitter's story. The sitter said two armed black men broke in, but 4-year-old Abby Dean declared the robbers were white and added, "They told us to get out of the house 'cause they wanted to steal stuff." The sitter confessed. (Fox News)

• Michael Shaske tried to turn a $3 winning lottery ticket into a $20,000 winner but his scheme unraveled after two Oklahoma City stores refused to pay on the bogus ticket. Shaske then took it to the Lottery Commission office, where officials immediately recognized it was two cards pasted together and notified police. "Basically, with the number of times he tried to pass the ticket, it seemed he was doing everything he could to get himself arrested," police Sgt Gary Knight said. (Oklahoma City's KFOR-TV)

Snooze, You Lose
Dutch researchers discovered a new behavioral condition: "bedtime procrastination," defined as "failing to go to bed at the intended time, while no external circumstances prevent a person from doing so." "We speculate that it is not so much a matter of not wanting to sleep, but rather of not wanting to quit other activities," researcher Floor Kroese explained. Instead of going to sleep, it's "one more episode" on Netflix or "one more quest" on that video game. Besides the resulting tiredness, the researchers concluded that putting off sleep "may also lead to harmful outcomes in the area of health behavior ... and individual well-being." (Frontiers in Psychology)

Freudian Slip
Firefighters in Tuebingen, Germany, were called to free an American exchange student who got stuck in a sculpture of a giant vagina. Fire official Markus Mozer said the man was posing for a photo when he slipped. (Associated Press)

A Dish Best Served
Ronald Stancy, 47, retaliated against 17 people he apparently felt had wronged him by using a little-known law-enforcement policy to order them to take driving tests. Only police officers, prosecutors, judges, doctors and various government agencies are supposed to use the forms to order retests for health concerns, vision problems or mental issues, but, according to authorities, Stancy had a friend in law enforcement steal one that Stancy copied. Many of the victims, including an auto mechanic, a work acquaintance and an in-law, said they had no idea why Stancy singled them out. (Chicago Tribune)

•A teenager who was bitter about losing to his 17-year-old video-game opponent called 911 to have a SWAT team storm the opponent's home in Long Beach, N.Y., by claiming that the opponent had killed his brother and mother. The 70 emergency responders found only the opponent, playing Call of Duty. Investigators were unable to trace the 911 call, according to Long Beach police commissioner Michael Tagney, who defined Swatting as a new game where "you get points for the helicopter, for the police cars, for the SWAT team, for the type of entry. It's very sophisticated. Unfortunately, it's very dangerous." (New York Daily News)

•Tired of complaints by her neighbors, the Naranjo family of Wichita, Kan., erected a sign in their front yard telling them, "God bless you the spiteful! We are all equal in the eye of the Lord. Judge me not lest you be judged yourself." Noting that they've feuded with the neighbors since moving in two years ago, Claudia Naranjo explained, "We wanted a peaceful sign that just said, leave us alone.'" (The Wichita Eagle)

Fowl Fare
Beijing has a new museum devoted exclusively to roast duck. Located in a 10,700-square-foot facility adjacent to the city's most famous roast duck restaurant, the 150-year-old Quanjude, the museum boasts more than 500 items, including a golden duck sculpture out front and other sculptures inside showing the different steps in duck-making; a coupon from a duck sale dating back to 1901; and photographs of former Chinese leaders Mao Zedong and Zhou Enlai eating duck. (The Wall Street Journal)

Unguided Missiles
Mike Aburouman, 44, picked up a firework to light it, but instead of shooting into the air, it blew into his chest. Detroit police said Aburouman died almost instantly. (Detroit Free Press)

• Patrick Hughes, 26, was shooting off fireworks with some friends in McClain County, Okla., when he grabbed one of the fireworks and held it above his head. "That's not a good idea," his wife screamed after noticing embers falling from the firework. It then exploded and shot downward, hitting Hughes in the head and killing him. Investigators concluded that a fireworks shell had been put inside the launching tube upside down. Fireworks "are not meant to be held," Sheriff's Detective Dana Guthrie warned. "They need to be placed on solid surfaces." (Oklahoma City's KOTV-TV)

Which Way the Wind Blows
North Korea's Kim Jong Un chastised the country's meteorologists for "too many incorrect" weather forecasts and ordered them to improve their accuracy. While reporting on Kim's tour of meteorological facilities, the state-run newspaper Rodong Sinmun included photos of a red-faced Kim lecturing cowering forecasters that accurate forecasts are needed to protect life and property from "abnormal climatic phenomenon." (CNN)

Crime Doesn't Pay
A man believed to be in his 30s and wearing a Cincinnati Reds baseball cap held up five New York City banks in the same day. His spree netted him $449. Three of the banks gave him nothing. The fourth let him have $50. Finally, the fifth bank handed over $399. (New York Daily News)

Keyboard Follies
A British judge in a custody case called a father "insensitive" and ordered him to stop sending e-mails to his children using capital letters and large fonts because they are "equivalent to him shouting" at them. Justice Pauffley told the father, who is banned from seeing his children, age 13 and 9, and communicates with them by e-mail, that he needs to learn "to make his messages appropriate and child-friendly." (Britain's The Telegraph)

Contrarian of the Week
Bolivia reversed the clock on the front of the congressional building in La Paz so it runs counterclockwise. Foreign Minister David Choquehuanca explained that the change was made to inspire Bolivians to treasure their heritage as people who "live in the south, not in the north," and to show them they can question established norms. "Who says that the clock always has to turn one way?" Choquehuanca said, while reassuring those who "want to continue using a clock of the north, you can continue doing so." (BBC News)

Name Blame
Authorities accused Freddie Alexander Smoke III of deliberately starting a wildfire that burned 6 square miles of forestland in Northern California. (Associated Press)

Compiled from mainstream news sources by Roland Sweet. Authentication on demand.