Salt Lake City is an “underrated destination,” according to The Washington Post 

Hey Wilson, did you know we are an “underrated destination?” It's true. According to The Washington Post, the City of Salt is one of 12 destinations—including the Bahamas, Europe, Australia and Japan—that you've got to put on your travel wish list.

I know what you're thinking Wilson—any publicity is bad publicity, because it just brings more people. Despite what our political and business leaders say, we have enough people already.

But we digress. You could go to Brasov, Romania; Valparaíso, Chile; South Luangwa, Zambia—or, according to The Post, you could come to Salt Lake City, which is just as exotic as Zambia or any place else, for that matter. For example, The Post says: “There’s an abundance of 'dirty soda' shops that provide a coffee alternative.” Take that Zambia.

“Utah’s capital city is having an (occasionally scandalous) moment in pop culture,” The Post explained, citing The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City and The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. No Wilson, we are not making this up.

More excitement: Visitors can “hear the famous Tabernacle Choir or visit the LDS Genealogical Library.” As one travel agent told The Post, Salt Lakers “do a really good job of entertaining people.” Who knew?

But what's weird Wilson, is there's no mention of fry sauce and we're world famous for fry sauce—they don't have it in Zambia.

Oh No!—Public Access to State Records
Thank goodness our Utah lawmakers are getting ready to keep more of their business—the public's business—secret. 'Cause knowing what they're up to on Capitol Hill can be downright depressing, and they are quite interested in our mental health.

The Republican supermajority really loves democracy, they say. That's why they want to keep information from getting in the wrong hands. Just imagine if we had open government: reporters would be hounding them and then voters would be calling up and that could interfere with meetings with lobbyists over free lunch. They could lose weight.

Last year, the Utah Legislature passed a law so that elected officials could keep their calendars secret. So, for example, if they wanted to go to the World Cup soccer matches in Qatar and they didn't want anyone to know that Qatar was paying their way—well, it's just good government.

Too bad that law wasn't in place in late 2022, when then-A.G. Sean Reyes just happened to be in Qatar during the World Cup. There are such things as coincidences and sometimes people get the wrong idea. Best to keep it secret.

Just one more reason lawmakers might do away with the State Records Committee, where the public and news media can appeal when denied access to government records. The public nosing around in government records—what could go wrong?

Let’s Make Gaza Great Again
President Donald J. Trump seems to never run out of great ideas. One of his recent brainstorms is outstanding, for reasons that will become clear.

After Israel destroyed much of Gaza, Trump—always on the lookout for real estate opportunities—came up with a gem: The U.S. would take over the region and relocate Palestinians to other Arab countries, bulldoze Gaza and build a paradise for “people of the world.” Think Mar-A-Lago on the Mediterranean.

“We have an opportunity to do something that could be phenomenal,” Trump said. “And I don’t want to be cute. I don’t want to be a wise guy. But it [would be] the Riviera of the Middle East.”

The Palestinians would probably not mind giving up the last vestiges of their historic homeland. In 1948, in order to create Israel, Zionists backed by the Allies drove 750,000 Palestinians off their land, because God had previously given it to Jews. He apparently forgot to tell the Palestinians. Although they were promised a country of their own, the so-called two-state solution was never realized, because Israelis and Arabs kept killing each other.

“And (the Palestinian) people will now be able to live in peace,” Trump said. “We’ll make sure that it’s done world class.”

Every other country in the world blasted Trump's idea as grotesque, but they will come around because he's always right. Next week, we'll talk about time-shares in Greenland.

Postscript—That's a wrap for another shocking week here in the U.S.A., where Smart Bomb keeps track of Valentine's Day so you don't have to—that is if you want your girlfriend to hate you.

Most of the time, Wilson, people don't use Valentine's Day to think bad thoughts about former lovers. (We said, “most of the time.”) But if you want some fun and bad karma, you can pay HawkWatch International a mere $5 and they will name a rat after your ex. No, we are not making this up. Then they'll feed Jimmy, or whatever name you give it, to a big hungry raptor. Take that, Jimmy, you rat.

But wait, there's more: For $15, HawkWatch will send you a photo of Jimmy being eaten by the big bird and you can put it on your refrigerator. But wait, there's more: For $45, they will make a video of Jimmy getting torn apart and scarfed down the throat of one happy raptor—and you can share in the joy. Happy Valentine's Day, Jimmy, you rat.

Well Wilson, let's close out with some good news: In the spring of 2023, the St. George City Council had a cow when the Southern Utah Drag Stars (SUDS) applied for a special event permit. It was denied, because a drag show would turn the children of St. George into troglodytes. But last week, the city apologized to SUDS for violating its First Amendment rights. Freedom of speech in St. George? Will wonders never cease. Thank you ACLU-Utah.

Well shucks Wilson, the world is a crazy place and it's getting crazier all the time. A lot of people are just dropping out. Portugal is looking better all the time. You could just hang out on the other side of the Atlantic and listen to Beach Boy songs.

Speaking of underrated, didn't The Beach Boys have a song called Salt Lake City? How about it Wilson, have the guys put down the bong and take us out with a little you know what:

Down in Utah
The guys and I dig a city called Salt Lake
It's got the grooviest kids
That's why we never get tired of Salt Lake
And the way the kids talk so cool
Is an out of sight thing
And the number one radio station
Makes the town really swing yeah
Salt Lake City we'll be coming soon

There's a park near the city, yeah
All the kids dig the Lagoon now
It's full of all kinds of girls
And rides and we'll be flyin' there soon now
And girl for girl
They've got the cutest of the Western states
They got the sun in the summer
And winter time the skiing is great yeah
Salt Lake City we'll be coming soon
Salt Lake City we'll be coming soon
“Salt Lake City”—The Beach Boys