Rigging, Bigly | The Ocho | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

Rigging, Bigly 

Eight ways to rig the 2016 election:

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Untitled Document 8. Distract the poll workers with photos of children, cats or Andy Griffith.
7. Dump your beer onto the voting machine.
6. Dump your domestic beer onto the voting machine (because, ‘Merica).
5. Tell your exit pollster, “I stand with President Kiefer Sutherland!”
4. Gather all the vote-by-mail ballots in your district; box, and ship them C.O.D. to InfoWars.
3. Use The Interwebs to hack The Cyber. You know, like that Mark Zuckerbugger and the Ruskies.
2. Write in, “I hereby refute the Manchurian Cheeto, the Pantsuit Executioner and Lex Luthor … I mean, Evan McMullin.”
1. Ask your local representative about “gerrymandering.”
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