Resume Ruiners | The Ocho | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

Resume Ruiners 

8 resume cover-letter don'ts

Pin It
Favorite
art14672widea.jpg

Eight ways not to begin the cover letter for your latest resume:

8. “While typing in MonsterBadonks.com, I accidentally clicked your job listing on Monster and figured, ‘What the hell?’ ”

7. “You may be familiar with my work as the bassist for Counting Crows.”

6. “Let me gauge your paradigm on this: The acceptable number of cocktails before noon is ___.”

5. “I’m sure you’ll be very impressed with my Klout ranking.”

4. “First things first: I’ll need at least an hour free every day to devote to my falconry.”

3. “I prefer cash under the table—no way my hell-bitch ex-wife is getting another cut.”

2. “You may be familiar with my work as ‘Turtle’ on the show Entourage.”

1. “I firmly believe newspapers are poised for a rebound …”

Twitter: @Bill_Frost | BillFrost.tv

Pin It
Favorite

Tags: , ,

Speaking of The Ocho, ,

  • Walk of Shame, The Lego Movie

    New DVD/VOD Tuesday, June 17
    • Jun 16, 2014
  • Drinking-Class Zero

    Following a night of drinking, Wendy Simpson, 25, walked to a McDonald’s restaurant in West Yorkshire, England, where she was told that the counter was closed and only the drive-through was open but that she couldn’t be served
    • Jun 16, 2014
  • Night Moves

    Night Moves is as terrific as it is frustrating
    • Jun 13, 2014
  • More »

More by Bill Frost

  • Snark at the Moon

    Better Things and Vice Principals return; Salvation finally ends.
    • Sep 13, 2017
  • The Notorious H.R.C.

    Eight other titles considered for Hillary Clinton's new book, What Happened.
    • Sep 13, 2017
  • Blockbusted

    Eight reasons the 2017 summer movie season tanked:
    • Sep 6, 2017
  • More »

Latest in The Ocho

  • The Notorious H.R.C.

    Eight other titles considered for Hillary Clinton's new book, What Happened.
    • Sep 13, 2017
  • Blockbusted

    Eight reasons the 2017 summer movie season tanked:
    • Sep 6, 2017
  • August, Out

    Eight handy excuses for not having accomplished a damned thing in August.
    • Aug 30, 2017
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

‚Äč

Readers also liked…

  • For the Books

    • Jul 20, 2016
  • Balk the Vote

    Nonprofit sets sights on re-energizing young voters.
    • Oct 5, 2016

© 2017 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation