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Resume Ruiners 

8 resume cover-letter don'ts

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Eight ways not to begin the cover letter for your latest resume:

8. “While typing in MonsterBadonks.com, I accidentally clicked your job listing on Monster and figured, ‘What the hell?’ ”

7. “You may be familiar with my work as the bassist for Counting Crows.”

6. “Let me gauge your paradigm on this: The acceptable number of cocktails before noon is ___.”

5. “I’m sure you’ll be very impressed with my Klout ranking.”

4. “First things first: I’ll need at least an hour free every day to devote to my falconry.”

3. “I prefer cash under the table—no way my hell-bitch ex-wife is getting another cut.”

2. “You may be familiar with my work as ‘Turtle’ on the show Entourage.”

1. “I firmly believe newspapers are poised for a rebound …”

Twitter: @Bill_Frost | BillFrost.tv

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