Replenish the Earth | Staff Box | Salt Lake City Weekly

Replenish the Earth 

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What does “Be fruitful and  multiply” mean to you?

Kathy Mueller: Fuck like rabbits!

Jennifer DeVries: A house full of fruit flies. How do you get rid of those things anyway?

Susan Kruithof: Go ask the Duggars.

Nick Clark: God wants you to have sex.

Bryan Bale: I think it involves doing math while dressed as Carmen Miranda.

Josh Loftin: It means I need more children to pick, pit and peel all of my damned plums, peaches, apples and apricots.

Rachel Piper: That I need to breed a bunch of awesome children to counteract the lame children that other people are producing. It’s easier and more fun to have just pets, though.

Lia Pretorius: Irresponsible breeding.

Lacey Nabozny: This is TLC’s mission statement. If there weren’t huge a-holes out there popping kids out left and right in a world no longer equipped to handle them, TLC would be fucked.

Marty Foy: The latest gay night at TryAngles.

Eric S. Peterson: Clearly, it’s an edict from God to reproduce until there’s no room left on Earth. At which point, we can get serious about living under the sea.

Jerre Wroble: Humans are creative. We worry the planet cannot provide for us. But it does. Then comes a tsunami or plague or war that culls the herd. And we start again. ... Nevertheless, condoms are a good idea.
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