Renaming the Rose | News | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

Renaming the Rose 

Pin It
Favorite

Taking the lead from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, that would like to be known as the Church of Jesus Christ—rather than Mormon church—as a way of presenting a new and more accurate image during the 2002 Winter Olympics, we have come up with ideas that would put other parts of our community in better focus.

Because the American Stores Tower on the corner of 300 South and Main is such a landmark, we think it ought to have a nicer name. It should be called something a little more dreamy and spiritual, like My Blue Heaven. It has a nice sound to it and forwards a better notion of who we are as a people.

Our light rail system, no doubt, will give an image to global TV viewers and visiting journalists as one of a progressive people. But TRAX is such a pedestrian name that it doesn’t do our new railroad justice. We would like to rename it The Little Train That Could to show the world our positive outlook.

Rice-Eccles Stadium should be high on the list for a new moniker, as well. We could call it the Crimson Coliseum. Olympic visitors leaving the Opening Ceremonies might be overhead to say something like this: “We’re leaving the Crimson Coliseum on The Little Train That Could for My Blue Heaven.”

The only thing more famous than the Mormon Tabernacle Choir in these parts is the Utah Jazz basketball team. But there really isn’t too much jazz music played in this area. A more fitting name, perhaps, would be the Utah Saints. We borrowed one name from New Orleans, why not another? And Saints, of course, has more to do with our culture.

Renaming things unique and special to this area will really give us that added boost during the Olympics—and it gives us residents something to think about, too. There really need be no limit. The Wasatch Mountains, for example, could be re-named the Alps. Why not? For years people have referred to them as Utah’s Alps. This just makes it official.

Salt Lake City Weekly, to give outsiders a better view of who we are, on second reference would like to be called the New York Times. Publisher John Saltas will hereafter be known as John Pulitzer to give a better understanding of this undertaking. And Editor Christopher Smart will be called Edward R. Murrow—just because. Some people may scoff, but we think it will give us a better image in the eyes of Olympic viewers the world over.

Pin It
Favorite

More by Christopher Smart

  • Flying Dinosaur Days: Christopher Smart (Editor 1996-2002)

    It’s all a fog now, but as I review the fossil record—with carbon-14 dating, of course—it appears that I started at City Weekly sometime in 1993 as a freelancer ...
    • Jun 23, 2010
  • Breaking Free

    The healing force for one prison inmate was the discovery of his art.
    • Sep 6, 2007
  • Ruben Retaliates

    In an unusual move, Salt Lake City Police Chief Ruben Ortega released protected personnel documents to news media in an apparent attempt to embarrass or retaliate against one of his police officers and president of the local police union. It was the...
    • Sep 6, 2007
  • More »

Latest in News

  • Bigger, Better People

    Utah agencies are resettling fewer refugees than ever. What does that mean for those who are already here?
    • Oct 17, 2018
  • One Man's Trash

    Not all are happy with Salt Lake City's new junk cleanup program.
    • Oct 10, 2018
  • Taking Clients' Vitals

    New digital survey gives homeless people a say in how five Utah organizations can better tailor their services.
    • Oct 3, 2018
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

  • Taking the Plunge

    Once flourishing, derelict bath house faces uncertain future.
    • Sep 13, 2017
  • Trib Voices

    Former Salt Lake Tribune staffers look back—and ahead.
    • May 23, 2018

© 2018 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation