Protests on college campuses show the kids are still alright | Opinion | Salt Lake City Weekly

Protests on college campuses show the kids are still alright 

Smart Bomb: The completely unnecessary news analysis

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So Wilson, it must be déjà vu all over again for you and the guys in the band. Campus demonstrations—students getting beat up and arrested. It's gotta bring back fond memories of the war in Vietnam.

Cops wielding batons, bloody foreheads, handcuffs, all that good stuff. It's like 1968 all over again.

It started at Columbia University, where students apparently don't appreciate their bloody fingerprints all over the 34,000 dead in Gaza. The protests spread from NYU to USC. It's the same but different from the protests over our disastrous and deadly 10-year soiree through Southeast Asia. The National Guard hasn't killed any students yet—like at Kent State on May 4, 1970—but give it time.

Remember those days, Wilson, when young people wouldn't take ownership of all the bullshit the old, white men were up to in the nation's capital? Those screwups. It's always the young people who have it together. What was the battle cry back then—sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll? It does have a ring to it.

Yes Wilson, we know, you and the guys took it very seriously. Such dedication.

This time around, Republicans in Congress are getting into the act with public executions of university presidents for allowing civil disobedience. Meanwhile, they hail Jan. 6 insurrectionists as heroes. What're you gonna do? Sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll.

Top 10 Names for Utah’s New NHL Team
The Arizona Coyotes NHL hockey franchise is moving to Utah and there's a big buzz over what to name them. Already a bunch of dumb names have been suggested, such as The Pucks, The Blades, The Pioneers, etc. etc.

So the staff here at Smart Bomb got to work on some totally better proposals. Here they are:
10. Latter-day Saints
9. The Jack Mos
8. Crispy Creams
7. Swarming Locusts
6. The Salt Water Taffy
5. Jesus's Sunbeams
4. Jiggly Jell-Os
3. Skating Apostates
2. Gayful Rainbows
1. What's wrong with the Coyotes, anyway? We kill plenty of them in Utah each year. How about Grateful Dead Coyotes?

To Recuse or Not Recuse—That is Not the Question
Recently, Rep. Jamie Raskin, D-Md. suggested the U.S. Supreme Court move its chambers to the headquarters of the National Republican Committee, because the justices act like partisan hacks. Nanner, nanner, nanner!

Raskin took out after the high court's conservative majority as they looked to be receptive to Trump's claim of absolute immunity. But the big question is, does the RNC have parking for Justice Clarence Thomas' 40-foot, $267,000 motor home that he purchased with a “loan” from billionaire Anthony Welters? If not, he'll have to leave it at the Walmart parking lot.

During the recent immunity hearing, nothing was mentioned about Thomas' wife, Ginni, and her critical involvement in a conspiracy to keep Trump in power after he lost the 2020 election. Some of those liberal nitpickers say Clarence should recuse himself because he appears to have a conflict of interest.

But just because Ginni was up to her neck in the planned coup is no reason Clarence should bow out. That would signal jurisprudence, which has little to do with the Roberts Court mission statement. It hews toward "originalism"—that is, bullshitting your way through any argument by claiming to read the minds of the long-dead framers of the Constitution. And then there's always voodoo.

Postscript—That's a wrap for another fabulous but frightening April here at Smart Bomb, where we keep track of the nastiness at the Utah Republican State Convention so you don't have to.

Hey Wilson, if you think Marjorie Taylor Greene is a bitch, you weren't at the state GOP convention. There was so much malevolence there that it threatened to peel the paint off the convention center walls. It made MTG look like a Girl Scout. Let's agree to disagree or I'll rip your f-ing head off. Eesch!

The rabid right contingent even booed the mild-mannered Gov. Spencer Cox, to which he retorted: “Maybe you hate that I don’t hate enough.” The Party of Trump, where if you ain't mean, you ain't American.

People believe what they want to believe. For example: 9/11 was an inside job. George W. Bush pulled it off so he could expand government power and the military industrial complex to profit on the war on terror.

Don't forget Pizzagate. Hillary Clinton and her band of thugs ran a child sex ring in the basement of a pizza place in D.C. One problem: no basement.

For his part, Donald Trump made 30,573 false or misleading statements while president, according to The Washington Post. Hey Wilson, did you hear that Trump won the 2020 election. It must be true—just ask the MAGAtes.

Reality isn't for sissies. As it was in Vietnam, it's up to the college kids to point out the slaughter in Gaza is inhumane. And as it was then, too, the response of university administrations is flat-footed and dumb-headed. The more things change, well ...

So Wilson, get the guys in the band and take us back to the future:

There's something happening here
But what it is ain't exactly clear
There's a man with a gun over there
Telling me I got to beware

I think it's time we stop
Children, what's that sound?
Everybody look—what's going down?

There's battle lines being drawn
Nobody's right if everybody's wrong
Young people speaking' their minds
Getting so much resistance from behind

It's time we stop
Hey, what's that sound?
Everybody look—what's going down?

What a field day for the heat
A thousand people in the street
Singing songs and carrying signs
Mostly saying, "hooray for our side"

It's time we stop
Hey, what's that sound?
Everybody look—what's going down?

Paranoia strikes deep
Into your life it will creep
It starts when you're always afraid
Step out of line, the man come and take you away

We better stop
Hey, what's that sound?
Everybody look - what's going down?
“For What It's Worth”—Buffalo Springfield

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