Pass on the Paddy's Parade
8 reasons you'll be skipping the St. Patrick's Day parade Saturday
By Bill Frost @bill_frost
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8. Too morning-drunk to participate.
7. Not morning-drunk enough to participate.
6. St. Patrick's Day is Tuesday—why is every holiday relegated to Saturday in Utah?
5. Thought The Gateway had been turned into a community garden.
4. Dry cleaner won't have green thong and matching gimp mask ready in time.
3. Getting back to No. 6: Seriously, WTF?
2. Too fair-skinned to withstand blazing mid-March sun.
1. No Tuesday, no peace.
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