Newsquirks | Syndicated Columns | Salt Lake City Weekly


Pin It

When three people at a bank drive-through in Sylvester, Ga., tried to cash a personal check from Joyce Powell, the teller, who knows Joyce Powell because they work together, alerted Powell and asked the driver for identification. Driver Calvin Barfield, 27, presented his license and Social Security card. Powell, meanwhile, called the police, who discovered that her home had been broken into and later determined that some checks had been stolen. According to The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, the three people kept waiting in the car began worrying and drove off, but they left behind Barfield’s identification. Police quickly caught up with Barfield and arrested him, Shannon Parrish, 26, and Stacey Ellis, 19.

Cubicle Follies

An Iowa tribunal rejected Chris T. Coppinger’s demand for unemployment benefits after he was fired from a charitable fund-raising company in Davenport for alleged financial mismanagement, drug use and having sex with a woman on his desk. Coppinger didn’t deny the sex, but he argued that he shouldn’t be fired for that because many other members of the organization had engaged in sex on that same desk.

Opportunity Knocks

Online sex-toy retailer announced that it is searching for a sexually active couple to test a new pill designed to change the taste of semen. The pill, which is to be taken twice a day for 30 days, claims to mask the traditionally salty taste of male ejaculate with a refreshing apple-like flavor. “A payment is offered,” LoveHoney test organizer Ali Carnegie said, “but this is really a job that people should do for love rather than money.

Perils of Prosperity

When China’s government began transforming farmland in Sichuan province into an industrial zone, it offered married couples in rural Renhe a small two-bedroom apartment in return for their land and farmhouse. Divorced villagers were entitled to a one-bedroom apartment. Figuring two people could live together in a smaller place and sell or rent out the other, 98 percent of the married couples in the village of 4,000 filed for divorce. According to the Los Angeles Times, the government responded by declaring that farmers who divorced after the compensation package was offered would have to pay for the extra apartment. Meanwhile, without the prospect of financial security, many couples aren’t getting back together. Some villagers have found new partners, while others have decided to try living single. “We are miserable,” said Wang Fen, 58, who lost her husband of 40 years. “We were very happy before. But he had a change of heart and married a younger woman.

To reduce environmental devastation caused by rapid economic growth, China’s Finance Ministry announced it was imposing a 5 percent tax on disposable chopsticks, explaining that producing the throw-away wooden eating utensils consumes 70 million cubic feet of forest annually. China sells 10 billion boxes of wooden chopsticks a year domestically and exports another 6 billion boxes, according to the China Daily newspaper, which reported that the consumption tax also targets wooden floor paneling and wooden yachts.

Vigilante of the Week

Police in Somerville, Mass., charged Jeanne Walsh, 46, with, among other things, attempted murder after they said she slammed her sport utility vehicle into a 34-year-old woman whose husband had parked in a handicapped space outside a store. Police said the couple was about to leave when Walsh pulled up beside their car and began cursing at them, then blocked them in. When the woman got out to confront her, Walsh hit the woman in the back of the legs with the SUV. The victim’s husband jumped out to yell at Walsh to stop, but police said Walsh again hit the victim in the leg with the front bumper of her SUV. Police added that the couple had parked in the handicapped spot only because store employees suggested it so they could more easily load a large item.

Bovine Love

Live sex shows of bulls mounting a simulated cow have become a big attraction at an agricultural exhibition in New Zealand. The fake cow'a small go-cart with natural cowhide on its roof'was developed by Ambreed New Zealand Ltd. to collect semen from bulls more safely and efficiently and improve artificial breeding of cows. Bull semen is commonly obtained using a rubber device known as an artificial vagina, which is put in place manually by two handlers.

For the improved method, the go-cart, driven by a human operator, draws close to a bull and adjusts to the proper height. “It’s quite a daunting feeling when you consider you’ve got a bull there that weighs a thousand kilograms sitting on top of you and is in quite an aggressive mood,” Andrew Medley, production manager at Ambreed, told Reuters.


A nationwide campaign is under way in Cameroon to discourage the widespread practice of “breast ironing,” which involves pounding and massaging the developing breasts of young girls with hot objects to try to make them disappear. The most widely used instrument to flatten the breasts is a wooden pestle, used for pounding tubers in the kitchen. Heated bananas and coconut shells are also used. Statistics show that 26 percent of Cameroonian girls at puberty undergo it because many mothers believe it protects their daughters from the sexual advances of boys and men who think children are ripe for sex once their breasts begin to grow.

Pin It

More by Roland Sweet

  • Anchors Away

    Canada's National Defence decided to decommission a 45-year-old navy supply ship without a replacement because mechanics in Halifax were spending a "disproportionate amount of time" keeping the vessel operating ...
    • Jul 29, 2015
  • Ablution Solution

    Spas in Japan now offer ramen-noodle baths. The baths are filled with ramen pork broth and synthetic noodles. Soaking in the broth is said to be good for the skin and to boost metabolism.
    • Jul 22, 2015
  • Milking the System

    The federal Medicare Fraud Strike Force concluded a nationwide investigation into home health-care fraud by charging 243 people, including 46 doctors and other medical professionals.
    • Jul 15, 2015
  • More »

Latest in Syndicated Columns

  • Newsquirks

    Curses, Foiled Again ttPolice summoned by a neighbor who suspected a burglary in an upstairs apartment in Hilton Head Island, S.C., arrested Isaac Talavera Jr., 25, whose getaway was slowed by having to call his mother to come pick him up and drive him...
    • Jul 11, 2007
  • Crushable Lightweights

    I’ve come across several references recently to the alleged fact that the introduction of federal automobile fuel efficiency standards in the United States has increased the number of automobile deaths. The only sources cited are “free-market”...
    • Jul 11, 2007
  • Newsquirks

    Curses, Foiled Again ttFour men surrounded a man in a parking lot in Sumter, S.C., and threatened him with a poisonous snake. The victim was unharmed, however, because the attackers fled after the snake bit one of them, according to police Chief Patty...
    • Jul 6, 2007
  • More »

© 2024 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation