Newsquirks | Syndicated Columns | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly


Pin It

A South African man who robbed a Bloemfontein couple at knifepoint fled the scene and took refuge at a nearby zoo. Police official Sam Makhele said that the man hid in what turned out to be a tiger enclosure and was mauled to death.

Police investigators reported that Andrew M. Jacobs, 42, broke into a home in Vienna, Va., entered the bedroom of 10-year-old twin girls and tried to abduct them. According to police Capt. Mike Miller, the two girls fought off their attacker by screaming and kicking, using moves that their martial arts instructor taught them. The attacker, who wore a ski mask, turned out to be the girls’ martial arts-instructor, Jacobs.

Close Enough

Japan Airlines officials reported that one of its Boeing 747 aircraft flew for seven months with its left and right outboard engines switched until a routine inspection discovered the mix-up. Blaming a maintenance firm in Singapore for changing the engines when fitting them, JAL officials explained that the mistake didn’t change the engines’ output, just their angle, affecting the engines’ reverse thrust. Pilots made more than 400 landings without noticing.

No Right to Bear Arms

During Vice President Dick Cheney’s surprise visit to Iraq in December, “U.S. forces guarded Cheney with weapons at the ready,” the Associated Press reported, “while Iraqi soldiers, who had no weapons, held their arms out as if they were carrying imaginary guns.

It’s the Law

Charles Atherton, 73, was crossing a Washington, D.C., street in the middle of the block when a Toyota hit him hard enough to knock him out of his shoes. He struck his head on the car’s windshield and fell to the pavement, according to police, who issued Atherton a $5 ticket for jaywalking just before he was taken to a hospital, where he died. Police Capt. Willie Smith told The Washington Post that if the police had known Atherton was going to die, they never would have written the ticket.

An Australian traffic officer in Melbourne wrote a parking ticket for a car whose dead driver was slumped at the wheel. The 71-year-old man had been reported missing nine days earlier. “Our local laws officer checked and wrote out the ticket at the rear of the vehicle and placed the ticket from the passenger side on the windscreen,” Paul Denham, the mayor of Maroondah council, explained, adding that the “officer did not notice anything unusual regarding the vehicle.

Define “Emergency

Police responding to a 911 call from a Malt-N-Burger restaurant in Thibodaux, La., found that the caller, Sharita Williams, 30, had declared an emergency because her onion rings were served cold, and the attendant refused to replace the order. Officers issued Williams a summons for misusing the 911 system.

Superdome Stay-Over Optional

Gray Line New Orleans began offering the “Hurricane Katrina Tour: America’s Worst Catastrophe!” to show visitors the devastation that the city suffered when the storm hit last August. The three-hour tour costs $35. “People around the country don’t understand it until they see it firsthand,” Gregory Hoffman, the tour-bus operator’s general manager, said, adding that passengers aren’t let off in flood-ravaged neighborhoods to take pictures.Making Do

When more than 10,000 delegates attended the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation summit in Pusan, South Korea, in November, all the luxury hotels in the Haeundae beach area ran out of rooms. Several hundred overflow guests and journalists were booked into nearby “love motels,” which usually accommodate people seeking discreet locations for intimate encounters. Many rooms feature red lights and round beds but lack closets since regular guests seldom stay more than a few hours. Windows also have frosted glass to protect adulterers’ identity.

While APEC delegates and journalists complained about the lack of amenities, some motel owners were also less than pleased. They said that the intense security scared off local clients, and rooms that could have been rented profitably by the hour, possibly several times over the course of a night and day, were occupied by a single guest 24 hours a day for an entire week.

Whom Do You Trust?

The same day The New York Times disclosed that President George W. Bush authorized the National Security Agency to eavesdrop on Americans without warrants but insisted that existing safeguards are sufficient to protect the privacy and civil liberties of Americans, The Washington Post reported that a former NSA worker was convicted of taking home boxes full of classified documents and storing them throughout the house, including in the kitchen and a bedroom. Acting on a tip, FBI agents arrested Kenneth W. Ford Jr., 34, a computer specialist at the agency from 2001 to 2003. He explained that he needed the documents to use as reference materials for his new job with a government contractor.

Pin It

More by Roland Sweet

  • Anchors Away

    Canada's National Defence decided to decommission a 45-year-old navy supply ship without a replacement because mechanics in Halifax were spending a "disproportionate amount of time" keeping the vessel operating ...
    • Jul 29, 2015
  • Ablution Solution

    Spas in Japan now offer ramen-noodle baths. The baths are filled with ramen pork broth and synthetic noodles. Soaking in the broth is said to be good for the skin and to boost metabolism.
    • Jul 22, 2015
  • Milking the System

    The federal Medicare Fraud Strike Force concluded a nationwide investigation into home health-care fraud by charging 243 people, including 46 doctors and other medical professionals.
    • Jul 15, 2015
  • More »

Latest in Syndicated Columns

  • Newsquirks

    Curses, Foiled Again ttPolice summoned by a neighbor who suspected a burglary in an upstairs apartment in Hilton Head Island, S.C., arrested Isaac Talavera Jr., 25, whose getaway was slowed by having to call his mother to come pick him up and drive him...
    • Jul 11, 2007
  • Crushable Lightweights

    I’ve come across several references recently to the alleged fact that the introduction of federal automobile fuel efficiency standards in the United States has increased the number of automobile deaths. The only sources cited are “free-market”...
    • Jul 11, 2007
  • Newsquirks

    Curses, Foiled Again ttFour men surrounded a man in a parking lot in Sumter, S.C., and threatened him with a poisonous snake. The victim was unharmed, however, because the attackers fled after the snake bit one of them, according to police Chief Patty...
    • Jul 6, 2007
  • More »

© 2021 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation