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Mixed Metaphors 

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Last week I started to write an editorial—if these are truly editorials, that is—about some of the differences between Salt Lake City and Cancun, Mexico. I was only part way through when Chris Smart laid the current issue of Brill’s Content on my desk and pointed to a quote from Gayle Ruzicka in which she basically said she was coming after the City Weekly. At that point what I had to say took a new direction and the tale ended up half about Cancun and half about Ruzicka.

Basically the column sucked.

Making a point in this space is hard enough, especially given there is only space for 440 words. To complicate matters, that column suffered from some sort of writer’s bigamy in that two issues were being addressed in one short column. The result was not good. What with all the mixed metaphors and all, I’d be surprised if very many people even paid attention. I sure didn’t.

There are three reasons why I bring this up. One, I left out a lot of things about Cancun specifically and Mexico generally. Things like the flea markets in Cancun are more expensive than the malls; that the girls showing their all during Spring Break are just as attractive as the girls I knew 25 years ago except that they wear less swimwear and speak better Spanish; and that the French movie Chocolat is spelled Chocolate in Mexico, as it should be. I’ve already mentioned the chelada.

Two, that while we’ve never agreed with Gayle Ruzicka on any issue, we have stated before that we respect her rights and her ability to work the system. Even though we don’t agree with her, we would never try to silence her. Therefore, we wonder why she would like to silence us. We think it’s because, beneath it all, Gayle Ruzicka and her cronies are not the bravest nor truest of Americans. They are among the most frightening, though. Can you imagine a world without thong beachwear, cheladas or the City Weekly? Gayle Ruzicka can.

And three, I really wanted to write about the honesty and integrity of two members of the Salt Lake County Council, Jim Bradley and Steve Harmson. Having botched it last week, though, writing about two abjectly different themes, I really didn’t want to revisit the poop pile. I knew it would be hard for me to write about a good Democrat and a good Republican in the same space of just 440 words. But, honest they are and support them we will.

That’s it: Yeah, Bradley. Yeah, Harmson. Buzz off, Ruzicka. Pass the chelada.

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About The Author

John Saltas

John Saltas

Bio:
John Saltas is a lamb eating, Bingham Canyon native, City Weekly feller who'd rather be in Greece.

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