Memorial Day Excuses | The Ocho | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

Memorial Day Excuses 

8 excuses to not work on Memorial Day

Pin It
Favorite
click to enlarge art17568.jpg

Eight excuses for your boss as to why you just can’t work on Memorial Day:

8. Don’t want to put off that street-dance battle against the Nephi 435 crew any longer.

7. “I am not missing another Pawn Stars marathon, Greg! Suck it!”

6. Have to finally mow the lawn; pretty sure there’s a dead dog in there somewhere.

5. “My band is playing the Nothin’ But the ’90s fest—don’t you remember? I’m Steve Smash Mouth!”

4. As a certified Maxxinista, you’re legally obligated to spend the day shopping at T.J.Maxx.

3. “You wouldn’t understand—to maintain a secret second family, you have to put in the time.”

2. If the next podcast doesn’t get finished, 12.5 downloaders are going to be very disappointed.

1. “We only put out a paper once a week—why do I have to spend another Monday drunk?” (City Weekly employees only)

Twitter: @Bill_Frost

Pin It
Favorite

Tags: , ,

Speaking of , ,

More by Bill Frost

  • Available Jones

    Eight great achievements by Utah Gov. Gary Herbert during eight years in office.
    • Nov 29, 2017
  • Get Happy!

    Happy! brings the weirdness to Syfy; Fuller House further erodes 'Merica.
    • Nov 29, 2017
  • Thanks for Nothin'

    Eight things you just don't want to hear from family this Thanksgiving.
    • Nov 22, 2017
  • More »

Latest in The Ocho

  • Available Jones

    Eight great achievements by Utah Gov. Gary Herbert during eight years in office.
    • Nov 29, 2017
  • Thanks for Nothin'

    Eight things you just don't want to hear from family this Thanksgiving.
    • Nov 22, 2017
  • Justice League Assemble!

    Eight team members conveniently left out of the new Justice League movie.
    • Nov 15, 2017
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

  • Suck It, 2016

    Eight tired phrases to leave behind in 2016 (and their 2017 replacements):
    • Dec 28, 2016
  • The Porn Identity

    Eight adult films that triggered Utah Sen. Todd Weiler to sue for damages:
    • Jan 11, 2017

© 2018 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation